Can Politics Ruin Your Jewish Conversion?

Do your politics matter while converting to Judaism? No! 

(Yes, of course they do.)

Should you be open about your politics while converting? Only you can answer that, but let’s give you some useful information to make that decision.

Disclaimers!

Lawyers love disclaimers, and I’m no exception.

I’ve been a part of and visited more Jewish communities than a lot of people, especially those in the conversion process. I’ve spent two decades talking to conversion candidates, converts, and baalei teshuva from all around the world, including a lot of people who left the conversion process or the community. While I’m talking specifically to conversion candidates here, this information is just as useful for baalei teshuva, Jews who are becoming more Jewishly involved. But my experience is still limited, and my perspective and biases are my own. 

As always, your mileage can and will vary. Take everything with a grain of salt, and trust your gut.

This is going to be further complicated by the  fact that there’s an entire Jewish denomination called conservative. Also I’m an American, so I’m dealing with an American political climate. I will differentiate the “conservative Judaism” denomination by using the term “politically conservative” when I’m talking about politics.

Back to Politics

Sometimes it helps to share your politics, sometimes it hurts. Understanding your own situation’s political contours is important to protect yourself and your conversion. Politics aligned with your local community and converting rabbis can help you fit in faster and benefit you socially. You might be rewarded for sharing your politics! 

On the other hand, what if your politics don’t match your community either on one issue that’s really popular at the moment or just generally? You could be penalized for sharing those opinions and ideas. You could even jeopardize your conversion process because (spoiler alert!) conversions are overseen by human beings and they are fallible. 

These fallible human beings have what feels like absolute control over your life, and in a lot of ways, they do. This is even worse if you get on the bad side of someone who has control or power over your conversion process, officially or not. Who could that be? The local rabbi overseeing your process, maybe the members  of your beit din, the court that will be guiding your conversion process, but also big donors  or machers in the community can influence these people who hold the real power. Machers are the movers and the shakers. Big donors are often machers, but not all machers have “the power of the purse” in addition to their social skills. 

Money talks in any religious organization, for better or worse. The bills have got to be paid, the lights have got to stay on, the rabbi needs a paycheck.

Do you hate politics and find talking about them declassé? You’ll fit in just fine. Cynical but true. People will probably find  you refreshing. But if you clicked this link, I doubt that’s you. 

There will always be one or three or whatever very politically outspoken people who assume that everyone in the community does and should agree with their politics. And they can and probably will put you in awkward positions. You could very well be subjected to political purity tests disguised as “small talk” at kiddush or on the local Facebook group. And if they don’t like what you have to say, you might have created an enemy who can sabotage your conversion. Fun, right??

I hate it. I absolutely hate it. Do I think you should hide your politics? No, and I didn’t, but you need to know yourself. 

How much conflict are you willing to put up with? How much risk are you comfortable with? Maybe some issues are more worth it than others. 

But you also need to know your community. How do politics show up there, if at all? Is there a potential for conflict with your own politics? Are there particularly outspoken people you should be cautious around or even avoid? Any machers you should be careful not to offend? 

Anyone you want to avoid? It’s okay to avoid people! I guarantee you everyone in that synagogue is avoiding at least several people. It’s human, it’s normal, it’s fine. You don’t have to be friends with every person in the community in order to “fit in” and convert successfully. 

But if you want to avoid someone who happens to be a macher or someone who has the power of the purse as a big donor, how can you do that without causing offense? 

These are the annoying calculations of conversion, the “realpolitik” of a religious rite that is inherently political because humans are involved and in power over you.

They literally get to decide where you live, when you can date, and so many other other decisions. So yeah! That’s a lot of power over you! 

I can speak from experience that they can cost you many thousands of dollars. For just being bullies, not because of charging for things that are normal to charge for. They can ruin your life. It is entirely possible. I’ve had my life ruined by the conversion process. I have lost lots of money. I arguably lost a large part of my career due to it. 

So this is real power over you, and you need to be clear and thoughtful about what levels of risk are acceptable to you. 

And my stuff wasn’t over politics! It was just garden-variety power-hungry bullies.

The power dynamics are super real, and  too many people undersell them and pretend that they aren’t as real as they are. But if you’re here, you probably know better. Know that the rest of us converts have been there, and we understand those no-win decisions you have to make sometimes. You’re not imagining it or being dramatic!

Given the increasing polarization, try to make intentional decisions about sharing your politics rather than flying by the seat of your pants. Because I can speak from experience that making it up as you go along is probably not the best way. Spend some time thinking about it. Make  decisions. Don’t just use inertia to go along to get along.

Good luck. You’re gonna need it.

Want a deeper dive into this topic and how it plays out in various Jewish communities? Check out my YouTube video, which this post has been adapted from.