“Sexual harassment and abuse can and do happen during the Jewish conversion process – and we need to talk about it.”
That’s the heart of this video. It’s not just a one-off scandal or a bad-apple rabbi. It’s a systemic vulnerability created by intense power imbalances, isolation, and a gatekeeping structure where one person’s word can end your entire Jewish journey.
In this video, I share the uncomfortable truths about how abusers exploit the conversion process – and why it’s so hard for victims to be believed, let alone protected. I also share part of my own story, because I was one of the lucky ones who had people fight for me. Most don’t.
This isn’t about fear-mongering – it’s about pikuach nefesh, protecting life. And it’s long overdue.
See transcript below.
Transcript:
Sexual harassment and assault do happen during the Jewish conversion process.
The conversion process is full of humans. And let’s face it, humans do terrible things sometimes.
Why are conversion candidates so vulnerable to sexual harassment and abuse? One, because we’re not Jewish, we are often new to the community, and we have few or no allies in the community.
Jewish geography is power in our community. At its base, that’s what a macher is, who you know and who you can get to do a favor for you.
The conversion process itself is so imbalanced in power. Rabbis are literal gatekeepers. If they say no, you’re done.
You make one rabbi mad, and he can literally shut off every possibility you have of converting. He can shut it off with one phone call or one email to the right person. And he knows the right person. You don’t.
They hold your future in their hands . If you are in the conversion process, you already know this. But for those of you who are not, they control where you live, where you’re working, when you can move, when you date. They control your life basically for several years.
Everything you’ve worked for, sometimes for years, can be destroyed with one phone call or email.
Especially in the Orthodox world where conversion has become so centralized. The system currently under the RCA is a monopoly system where one beit din is controlling a large geographic area. If you make someone mad in that office, you may have to move across the country in order to be able to try to restart the conversion process.
Ask me how I know.
📍 Thankfully I had the opportunity to prove my innocence. Not many people are that lucky. I’m the only person I know of that has been that lucky.
Thanks to the internet and blogging, I had a small army of rabbis and Jewish lay people who I had been building relationships with, and they went to bat for me. They had no reason to, but they did. And I am here and Jewish because of that.
📍 People who want to abuse other people can see these weaknesses in the system. They exploit these weaknesses.
And do you know how many consequences I have seen for them? I’ve seen one, folks, one, and that was because the police got involved. Anything that stays below “call the cops” you’re probably gonna get away with it because who are you? You’re not even Jewish. Why should they believe you?
People who abuse others aren’t just doing it to you. They don’t stop at one. It’s a pattern. Pikuach nefesh, y’all.
