I didn’t grow up religious. I didn’t grow up Jewish. I didn’t even grow up around people who understood why someone might be drawn to Judaism.
But when I stumbled into this tradition, something clicked. It was like finding a language my soul already spoke.
Since then, I’ve gone through two conversions, built a Jewish life from the ground up, and made every awkward mistake along the way. And now? Helping others on this path has become my life’s work.
In this video, I’m sharing my story—not just how I found Judaism, but why I now dedicate my time to supporting conversion candidates and Jewish seekers. If you’ve ever felt like you were too much, not enough, or just completely overwhelmed by this journey… you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it out alone either.
Join the mailing list for honest tools, practical guides, and encouragement for every step of your Jewish journey. No gatekeeping. Just real help from someone who’s been there. Just sign up in the mailing list box in the sidebar on the right.
Transcript below, as always.
Transcript:
I didn’t grow up Jewish or religious.
I was raised by atheists in the heart of the American Bible Belt
where everyone assumed you went to church, and if you didn’t. Well, what was wrong with you?
Shalom friends. I’m Kochava, a Jewish convert and the voice behind Building a Jewish Life.com.
If you’re new here, welcome.
I wanna share a little bit about who I am,
and why helping other people on this path has become my life’s work.
When I found Judaism, or maybe it found me,
it was like stumbling into a language my soul already spoke.
And let me tell you, it was not a straight path. I had questions, a lot of them.
And there wasn’t always someone to help me find answers that were honest, compassionate, or that didn’t make me feel like I was broken for needing help.
I didn’t just convert to Judaism once. I did it twice. Once you pop, you can’t stop.
First conservative, then orthodox. My orthodox conversion was finalized over 13 years ago now,
but my journey started much earlier.
From that first spark of curiosity to the final Orthodox conversion, the process took over seven years.
Seven years of learning, stumbling, and trying again.
Of holding onto something that I couldn’t quite explain yet,
but I knew I couldn’t let go of either.
I’ve lit candles with shaking hands, asked a lot of awkward questions.
And learned what it means to build a Jewish life one piece at a time.
So when I say I get how long, confusing, and emotionally intense this process is, I mean it.
Now that I’m a parent and a homeschooler,
that’s added a whole layer of depth and chaos to that messy Jewish life.
It means wrestling with how to make ancient traditions feel alive and meaningful in the middle of messy breakfasts and sibling squabbles.
Of course, that also means teaching my kids things that I did not grow up learning and I have no idea what I’m doing sometimes, and I’m learning along with them.
That’s part of why I do what I do.
I’ve always been passionate about people not having to learn things the hard way all alone, because I did, and it sucked.
I’m also neurodivergent . I am autistic and ADHD, and I didn’t know that when I was going through the conversion process.
And that very much shapes who I am and how I move through life, including my Jewish life.
For a long time, I felt like I was both too much and not enough all at the same time.
Too sensitive. Too intense. Too confused by unspoken social rules.
And not organized enough, not social enough,
not polished enough to belong.
So I bring that lens into the work I do. Helping folks build Jewish lives, sometimes from the ground up.
Not some idealized vision of someone else.
Outside of all that, I’m just a big old nerd, which is very much how I approach my work as well.
I read constantly, mostly nonfiction, but I’ve been rediscovering a love of fiction in the last couple of years.
I love fandom spaces, fantasy and sci-fi, deep dive podcasts .
And whatever my latest special interest is.
I bring that same curiosity and passion
and desire to connect the dots into my Jewish life and the work that I share.
That’s why I do this.
I create videos, guides, and resources
to help people to navigate the Jewish conversion process with support that’s real, tools that work, and people who get it.
Whether you’re just starting to explore, deep in the messy middle, or wondering how to build a Jewish life post mikvah, you’re in the right place.
Everything I create is built from lived experience, mine and others.
The awkward and the beautiful, and all of the “wait is this normal” moments in between.
If you’ve ever felt like you had to be perfect to belong in Jewish spaces,
I’m here to tell you, you don’t.
You’re not broken. You’re becoming,
and you’re not alone.
Want some tools to help you build your Jewish life step by imperfect step?
You can join my mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com
and you’ll be able to access the full Resource Library packed full of freebies, printable trackers, Shabbat planning help,
imposter syndrome support, rabbi meeting prep sheets, and more to come.
And if you need personalized support, I offer one-on-one coaching and consulting
to help you move forward with clarity, confidence, and real world solutions.
This journey is hard, but it doesn’t have to be that hard.
And you don’t have to do it alone. I’m really glad you’re here.