Ever tried to Google “how to be Jewish” and instantly wanted to cry under a blanket? Same.
There’s so much to learn, so many expectations, and it can feel like everyone else already knows what they’re doing. If you’re somewhere between “I want this” and “I have no idea how to start,” this is for you.
Jewish life isn’t all-or-nothing. You don’t have to do it perfectly. And you are not behind.
In this video, I break down why the overwhelm is real (spoiler: it’s not just you), how to avoid burnout, and what actually works when you’re building a meaningful Jewish life—especially if you’re coming in as a convert, from scratch, or navigating all this as a busy, brilliant, very human human being.
✨ I also introduce Bayit Builders, my new membership and support system for anyone who’s ready to stop spiraling and start building with clarity, structure, and heart.
🎥 Watch now and let’s build something that actually fits your life.
🛠️ Doors to Bayit Builders are open until 8pm Eastern on July 6. Founding Members get the lowest price this membership will ever be—$15/month or $150/year. Learn more and join us!
Transcript below, as always.
Transcript:
Let’s be honest. Building a meaningful Jewish life can feel like too much.
There’s so much to learn, so many expectations.
And it feels like everybody else already knows what they’re doing.
If you’ve ever felt like you are behind or not “Jewish enough”
or like you’re failing before you even begin…
this is for you because you’re not broken.
The system can be overwhelming, but there’s another way.
If you’ve ever Googled ” how to be Jewish” and immediately wanted to crawl under a blanket for the next six months, you’re not alone.
The sheer volume of information and misinformation.
The wildly different opinions.
The unspoken rules. The Hebrew you don’t speak yet.
And with some Yiddish thrown in for good measure.
Yeah, the overwhelm is real.
Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed by that?
You’ve got so many moving parts, and you can’t ever remember what day it is on the Hebrew calendar.
613 mitzvot. A complicated community, to put it lightly.
And let’s throw in some anxiety provoking meetings with rabbis for good measure.
You wanna learn, but it’s hard to prioritize what to learn because there’s just so much you could be learning at any given moment.
Should you be learning about Shabbat? Should you be taking a Hebrew class? Should you be memorizing brachot (blessings)?
There is a fire hose of information, of possible actions you could take, and somehow you’ve gotta choose something.
But it doesn’t help that people portray it all as an “all or nothing” deal. You either do everything or you do nothing. And that’s not true. Most people fall in the middle somewhere.
Taking on Jewish practice does not have to be all or nothing. Everyone starts somewhere. Everyone starts with something.
Social pressure, pressure on yourself, invisible expectations that aren’t really that invisible, to be honest. It all is a perfect recipe for burnout. And burnout is your number one enemy in the process of becoming Jewish.
Because our brains love the “all or nothing” mindset. We can condemn other people putting out that idea of ” you do everything, or what you did is worth nothing”. But we do that to ourselves too. We also think, ” well, I can’t do everything, so I might as well not even try.
What’s the point of doing some of it?” And that’s not true. Every step you take is worth something. Every step you take matters.
Let’s be honest, most Jewish spaces were not created with converts and conversion candidates in mind. Especially not neurodivergent ones, ones juggling multiple jobs, ones juggling kids.
Or people coming in without a religious background.
You’re kind of expected to just know stuff even though no one told you.
You know the old statement about like “fish can’t see the water they swim in”? A lot of Jewish people are like that. Even people who should know better and are educating people who are newer in Judaism, they can forget that things just are not clear and they can forget to explain the expectations or social rules behind things, or even just the practical steps.
What blessings to say, where to stand, when to sit,
why we’re doing something,
what you’re even allowed to do as someone who is “not Jewish” yet.
And even when you are officially Jewish, that feeling of being on the outside can still stick around.
As I mentioned in another video, imposter syndrome never actually goes away. You just learn to manage it better. Hopefully.
Because unspoken cultural rules, insider jokes, Hebrew fluency, family traditions, all of those things don’t magically appear for you after you’ve gone to the mikvah.
These gaps aren’t just knowledge based. They’re emotional, spiritual, cultural.
That’s the problem with joining a Peoplehood. It’s not just a religion, it’s a full culture.
You’re trying to build a life without a blueprint and sometimes without even scaffolding.
That’s where so many people get stuck and give up.
Not because they lack sincerity or the desire.
But because no one ever helped them bridge these gaps with patience, empathy, and real world support.
Plus, you know, the whole “all or nothing” mindset still hanging around.
So what actually works when you’re trying to build a Jewish life from scratch
without burning out or giving up?
If you’re overwhelmed by everything you could be doing, what are the things that will actually move the needle for you?
Spoiler alert, it’s not perfection and it’s not the all or nothing mindset.
It’s not memorizing every halachic detail.
Or faking confidence that you don’t have yet. Though I have to say, I do recommend faking confidence until you have it. It’s very useful in battling imposter syndrome.
What actually works is consistency,
curiosity, gentle persistence, and again, working on that all or nothing mindset. That you can take some steps without taking all of the steps, if that’s where you’re at right now.
Jewish life is not built overnight. It’s not even built in a year.
It’s built moment by moment over the course of a lifetime: lighting candles, messing up the bracha (blessing), and trying again next week.
Asking questions even when you’re afraid that they’re “dumb.”
Saying Modeh Ani in English for three months because Hebrew still feels like a stranger to you.
All that counts, don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
What works is finding anchors.
A small practice that reminds you that you’re on this path for a reason.
A support system that gets it.
A community or even just one person
who sees you trying and says, “yeah, that counts.”
You don’t need to be “ready” because you’re never going to be ready. You just need to be real.
That’s what moves you forward.
Ground yourself in the Jewish year.
Our calendar is deeply seasonal. It’s both a lunar and solar calendar so that the holidays will be ” in their season,” which is required in the Bible.
Our Jewish practices mirror the seasons that we’re passing through in the year. But you can also take on other seasonal practices, and remember that those are Jewish too. Eating seasonal foods, doing seasonal activities,
ground yourself in time.
The most basic practice of this is Shabbat. We get a chance every seven days to dip into Jewish time.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. I will link up here. I have a video about anchors that you can use for starting a Shabbat practice. Because you really just need three things to start observing Shabbat: a ritual, making your meal a little fancier on Friday night, and something that creates a Shabbat atmosphere. That’s more than enough to get you started, and those practices will anchor you in Jewish time.
Just like you’re gonna be anchoring yourself in time, anchor yourself in your intentions, kavanah. Your intentions matter and help in mitzvot.
True, you don’t always have to have the right intention to do a mitzvah, but it helps.
Doing mitzvot with intention rather than perfection will keep you grounded in the moment and the mitzvah that you’re doing, instead of worrying about how it looks to someone else.
As always when we’re talking about Judaism, community matters. We are a people. Judaism was never meant to be practiced alone.
Ongoing support and gentle structures will get you much further than huge leaps in learning.
So here’s where everything shifts.
Up until now, you’ve probably just been piecing things together. Helter skelter.
Trying to Google your way into a Jewish life, grabbing advice from different sources that don’t always agree with each other.
And wondering why it still feels like something’s missing.
This is the moment we stop throwing spaghetti at the wall
and we start building something intentional.
Because you don’t need more noise. You need a clear path.
A grounded rhythm,
a framework that actually meets you where you are right now with the life you have right now. Not some idealized version of future you.
And that’s exactly what the Bayit Builders membership is.
Most people trying to build a Jewish life, especially as converts,
get thrown into the deep end without a map. If you’ll allow me to mix my metaphors.
Or worse, they’re handed someone else’s idea of what Jewish life should look like,
with zero room for who you are and what your life is like.
That’s why I created the Bayit Blueprint, which is what we use in the Bayit Builders membership. Bayit means house or home in Hebrew, but it’s really more than that. In Jewish tradition, the Bayit is a spiritual structure of your life.
It’s where Jewish life happens.
So the Bayit Blueprint is a four stage process that mirrors the emotional and spiritual and practical arc of this process of building a Jewish life from scratch.
From those early moments of curiosity,
all the way to feeling rooted and confident in your Jewish path. It’s not just a checklist, but there will be checklists. I mean,
have you met me or have you seen Building a Jewish Life.com? I’m all about the practical.
At each stage, I highlight what actually matters, what’s actually going to move the needle for you,
what to focus on, what to let go of,
and what kind of support is most helpful right now.
Because, let’s be honest,
what you need when you’re just starting out is very different from what you might need right before going to the mikva for a conversion.
And most classes they skip this.
They assume a one size fits all model and hope you can keep up.
But in Bayit Builders, we walk alongside each other at your pace, not someone else’s timeline.
Whether you’re sprinting or crawling or circling the same question for the third time this month. You’re not behind. You’re building, and that process is not linear.
So if you’re ready to stop spiraling, stop second guessing, and start building a Jewish life that works for you…
Bayit Builders is opening today,
Sunday, June 29th, 2025.
This is the calm, clear, supportive community that I wish I had had when I was converting.
It wasn’t there then, but it’s here now for you.
But heads up, the doors are opening today and they’re only gonna be open for eight days.
This is your chance to join as a Founding Member. And lock in the lowest price this membership will ever have: $15 a month or $150 a year.
After this launch, the doors will be closing until Elul this fall, right before the High Holidays. That way we can focus all our energy on the members inside the membership.
Go to the link in the description to join now, and start building a Jewish life that actually feels like yours.
