What do you do when you’re ready to build a Jewish life… but there’s no Jewish community in sight?
No synagogue. No Shabbat dinners. No one to ask the questions that keep circling in your mind.
If you’ve ever felt like the only Jew—or aspiring Jew—for miles, you are not alone. And more importantly, you’re not out of options.
In this post, we’ll explore how to build meaningful Jewish practice when you don’t have a local community—yet. Whether you’re converting or reconnecting, you’ll find real tools and real encouragement here.
Watch the full video below, or keep reading for key takeaways, resources, and a reminder that Jewish life is possible wherever you are.
💙 Want practical tools to build a Jewish life that fits your life?
Join the mailing list and get access to the free Resource Library—including the Shabbat Menu workbook to help you anchor your Friday nights, and the Jewish Experience Tracker to help you document your growth, learning, and connection over time. Perfect for converts, seekers, or anyone starting from scratch.
Because you don’t need to do this alone—and you don’t need to guess what comes next. Let’s build it together.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
Do you feel alone in your Jewish journey?
If you feel stuck in a Jewish desert, like there’s no synagogue, there’s no Jewish community, there’s no one you can even ask your questions to? I need you to know you’re not alone.
And more importantly, you’re not out of options.
Hi, I’m Kochava, a Jewish convert and educator,
and today I am gonna show you what to do when you can’t find a Jewish community where you live.
Real talk, real tools,
and real ways to move forward even if you’re the only Jew or aspiring Jew in your zip code.
I’ve been helping people navigate the Jewish conversion process and building a Jewish life more broadly for over 15 years through my blog, Building a Jewish Life.com,
and one of the most common struggles I hear,
especially from people who are converting or who live in a rural area,
is, “I wanna build a Jewish life, but I can’t find a community.”
So let’s break this down and give you some next steps.
First, let’s talk about why community even matters.
Judaism is at its core, a People. It’s a communal religion. So many mitzvot, commandments, are made to be done with other people.
A minyan, a quorum of 10, is required even just
to say certain regular Jewish prayers,. Holidays, lifecycle events, Shabbat, they’re not meant to be done solo.
Yes, Judaism is between you and God, but it’s also between you and the Jewish people. You can’t have one without the other.
But here’s the thing. Community doesn’t always mean a synagogue building.
It’s about connection, accountability,
shared practice,
and even just knowing that someone else is lighting candles too.
So when the ideal form isn’t available, let’s redefine what’s possible. There are many reasons why you might not have a Jewish community right now. Maybe you’ve just started getting interested in Judaism and you live in a place where it’s not possible. You probably have to move if you wanna continue the conversion process.
But what do you do in the meantime? You can’t just pick up and move right away.
You could be called home to care for a sick family member. That happened to me before my mother died.
There are all sorts of reasons you might find yourself in a Jewish desert,
So let’s help you find connections where you can.
Sometimes there’s more nearby than you might think.
It’s just not where you expected.
Look broadly.
Is there a Hillel nearby at the college campus? Even if you’re not a student.
A cultural Jewish club that does book clubs or events.
Even a synagogue that’s not your ideal denomination can do in a pinch.
It might still provide connections, learning opportunities, or even just a seat on the High Holidays.
Maybe you find out you have a neighbor who’s Jewish. Or maybe you find a Jewish seller at the farmer’s market who sells challah every week.
If you’re a college student, maybe there are Jewish professors you could get to know better.
Mentors don’t have to be rabbis. They don’t even have to be experts.
They just need to be a few steps ahead of where you’re at.
If you’re converting, this can get trickier.
Not every rabbi is excited about working with conversion candidates,
but you can still show up and ask questions.
For many people, just starting to attend is the first step.
But what if there really is nothing nearby? Then it’s time to build from home.
If you can’t find your own, store bought is fine.
Start with Shabbat.
Light candles. Say blessings. Have a nice meal.
You don’t have to get complicated when you’re starting out. If you join my mailing list, I have a workbook called the Shabbat Menu that takes that framework, the idea of three anchors. One change to make your meal nicer. One ritual added. And one atmosphere change that really brings Shabbat home.
The Shabbat menu offers you a wide selection of things that can fit the bill. You can join the mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com.
Observe the holidays even in small ways. The Shabbat Menu works for holidays too.
Start a Jewish study habit.
Torah, Jewish history, Hebrew, whatever interests you.
The next way you can build community from home: online.
We are so lucky to have access to the internet.
Can you imagine doing this in 1972?
There are online classes,
recordings of classes, shiurim.
Virtual prayer services.
Communities like my Bayit Builders membership, and tons of Jewish creators sharing education and insights.
You can even create your own buddy system,
one or two people online that you check in with on a regular basis
about what you’re learning or practicing. You can even text each other.
You do not have to figure this out alone. Even if you’re physically alone.
There are Facebook groups, Discord servers, Reddit, WhatsApp chats,
and even quiet corners of TikTok and Instagram.
Sometimes your Jewish community starts as a podcast that you listen to each week.
Or a YouTube channel that helps you learn without judgment.
None of that’s fake. You’re planting roots. It’s not always the most fun period to be in, but you’re building a strong foundation that’s gonna serve you for years and years to come.
If you’re converting, the isolation can be an added challenge. Because the rabbis are looking to see you integrate into a Jewish community. ‘ cause as we said, this is a communal religion.
That’s where tracking this Jewish learning and experiences,
it can really help to show your commitment over time. It shows that you made the best of a bad situation.
And longer term it’s okay to ask yourself, could you move someday?
Not everyone can. Finances, family,
child custody agreements,
health, all that plays a role.
But sometimes that’s setting it as a long-term goal, even if it is a pretty long time away.
There’s something psychological about knowing that there is an end point, even if that end point is a long time from now.
And if moving isn’t possible, it’s okay to make the best of the situation you’ve got.
And if you’re one of those aspiring Jews who can’t convert because you can’t move, that doesn’t mean that you don’t get to go to heaven or anything like that. Judaism does not believe you need to be Jewish to go to heaven.
There’s what’s called the seven laws of Noach. Noah from the Ark with the animals. If you look that up, you’ll find resources. It’s kind of complicated. Uh, it seems simple on the surface, but there’s like, it’s a complete Wild West. There are very few rabbis who are focusing on this, so there’s very little good information and there is a very high risk of being sucked into a scam or a cult.
So be cautious when you’re dealing with Noachide communities.
Don’t ignore red flags. God wants you to take care of yourself.
But fundamentally, you are not less Jewish, less worthy, or less sincere
because you’re doing this without a local community.
Life is what it is sometimes. If you want more tools to navigate a Jewish life without community, join my mailing list and you can find the whole Resource Library of tools at Building a Jewish Life.com.
Don’t forget to subscribe so you can get the latest videos from me every week.
And in the comments, tell me below,
what’s your biggest challenge building a Jewish life where you live? Let’s crowdsource some solutions.
