Jewish Conversion Was Never Meant to Be a Solo Journey
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, isolated, or unsure where you stand in the conversion process… I see you.
You’ve been reading the books, whispering along with the blessings, watching YouTube videos at 2am—and still wondering: Am I doing this right?
You’re not alone in that. In fact, you’re exactly who I made Bayit Builders for.
In this video, I’m sharing the five signs you might need more support on your Jewish journey—and what you can do today to feel more grounded, connected, and confident, whether or not you ever join the membership.
Because Jewish life isn’t supposed to feel like a pop quiz you didn’t study for. It’s supposed to feel like a home.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
Jewish conversion was never meant to be a solo journey.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, isolated or unsure, you might be missing this one important thing: support.
Hey friends. I’m Kochava, Jewish convert and the person behind Building a Jewish Life.com.
If you’re in the middle of converting or building a Jewish life from scratch, this one’s for you.
Because at some point the initial excitement wears off.
And often what’s left is confusion, second guessing, and way too many open Chrome tabs.
That’s why I built Buy Builders. The membership I created for conversion candidates, converts, and Jewish seekers. Not as another class or checklist. But as the support system that I wish I had had when I was going through the conversion process 15 years ago.
If you’ve been trying to piece this together all on your own, you don’t have to anymore.
Bayit Builders is open. The first launch of Bayit Builders ends
tonight, July 6th, 2025, at 8:00 PM Eastern.
After that, the doors will close until Rosh Chodesh Elul, which is August 24th.
Right now you can get the Founding Member rate of $15 a month or $150 a year, but when the doors reopen August 24th, the price is going up to $25 a month or $250 a year.
So if you’ve been on the fence, now is the time.
But whether or not you join us inside Bayit Builders, here are five signs
that maybe you need more support in your Jewish journey and how to get it.
Sign number one that you need more support in your Jewish conversion process:
You’re constantly asking, “am I doing this right?”
You’ve read the books, you’ve watched the videos. You’ve shown up to classes. Whispered along with the blessings. Maybe even Googled ” how to kasher a microwave” at two in the morning. You’re trying, but still there’s that question.
That one nagging thought that sneaks in when your head hits the pillow at night, ” am I doing enough?” ” Am I doing it right?”
” Would anyone else consider me a real Jew yet?”
Spoiler, if you’re asking those questions, you’re probably doing way more than you give yourself credit for.
Because the people who aren’t serious? They don’t ask, they don’t care.
If you’re here watching this video , I know you’re showing up with heart again and again.
What you’re missing isn’t effort. It’s feedback. It’s clarity. It’s connection.
You don’t need to work harder. You need reassurance that you’re doing alright,
and that’s what Bayit Builders is for. So you can stop second guessing and start building a Jewish life, one grounded step at a time. And even if you’re not inside the membership yet, there are things you can do right now to ground yourself in this journey.
You can ask your sponsoring rabbi or your mentor or tutor, ” what are the key areas you want me to focus on this month?”
Reflect on one Jewish thing you’ve done this week. And celebrate it out loud with another person.
Reach out to a Jewish friend, rabbi, teacher, and ask clearly for what you need. ” Hey, I could use some encouragement.” 99% of people are totally happy to do that for you.
And if someone responds badly to that question, you now know who that person is.
And you could create a Jewish wins list in your phone or notebook.
Start logging moments, big or small, that remind you that you’re growing. If you wanna see a template of that,
I have a Jewish Wins Tracker in my Resource Library for people who sign up for my mailing list. So if you go to Building a Jewish Life.com and sign up, that is one of the several printable documents you can get to help you along in the conversion journey.
Because clarity doesn’t always come from doing more. Sometimes it comes from naming what you’ve already done.
Sign number two you need more support in your Jewish conversion process: you don’t know what your rabbi or beit din expects from you next.
You’ve had the meetings, you’ve done the learning. You’ve shown up for classes, read the books.
Maybe even cried in a synagogue bathroom once or twice.
But when it comes to what’s next… sometimes you’re just met with vibes or worse, silence.
No checklist. No timeline. No one returning your emails in a reasonable time period. No clear markers of progress.
Just to vague, “keep going,” or “you’re doing great” without anything concrete to hold on to.
It’s disorienting
and it makes you question yourself,
kind of like before, “am I doing this right? Am I doing enough?”
Let me be clear. This is not your fault.
Most rabbis, tutors, and programs just simply don’t have the time, capacity, or bandwidth to walk you through each step with clarity. That’s not a judgment. That’s just the reality of an overburdened system.
But you still deserve better.
You deserve to know what’s expected of you and what comes next.
You shouldn’t have to guess your way through a sacred journey.
That’s why Bayit Builders exists because for too many of us, that’s exactly what happens.
Not to replace your rabbi, but to fill in the blanks
And help you build with clarity, confidence and actual direction.
But while you wait for that rabbi to return your email,
here are some things you can do to ground yourself and move forward with intention.
Small intentional steps will still move you forward.
Ask explicit questions of your rabbis and mentors.
” Can we go over the process and what’s next?”
“What are the top two priorities for the next month?”
Then make sure to jot down notes so that you can track your progress and won’t forget what they said.
You can also reach out to someone who’s ahead of you on the path for their opinion.
DM that Jewish friend.
Or call a convert you admire for a 10 minute chat.
Or post a question in a respectful place.
You’re allowed to say, “I don’t know what comes next.
What helped you?”
And last, think over your Jewish practice and identify the gaps.
Choose a mitzvah to address that gap, whether it’s taking on a new mitzvah or deepening a current practice. Deep down, you probably have a pretty good idea of where you need to go.
Sign number three that you need more support in your Jewish conversion process:
your Jewish life feels like a to-do list. Shabbat, kashrut, Hebrew, holidays.
Figuring out how to keep Shabbat while you’re still working weekends.
Learning enough Hebrew to follow along in the services. Sorta.
Prep for every chag like you’ve been doing it for years.
Oh, and while you’re at it, heal your childhood religious trauma. Find community.
Build a Jewish home. And maybe write a d’var Torah (speech) to prove how serious you are.
It’s too much for anyone,
especially if you’re doing it all alone. Jewish life was never meant to be a solo project. It is a communal religion. For better or worse, you and the community are gonna be besties.
Jewish life was never something you were supposed to piece together after midnight with a Google search and a panic attack. It’s meant to be lived, shared, and supported
with people who walk beside you. With Jewish rhythms that feel natural in your life.
With reminders that you are not behind and you are not broken.
That’s what we’re building in Bayit Builders:
A space where Jewish life gets to be human, not heroic.
You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. Everyone started somewhere, and we built that Jewish life piece by piece, brick by brick.
Burnout is the quickest way to ruin your Jewish life.
You just need the next right step.
Here’s some places where you can begin. Choose one mitzvah or practice to focus on this week.
If you’re doing too much, maybe let some go. Just for now. Maybe you should have taken the process a little bit slower. You can slow down now.
Start with something small. Shabbat candles. A blessing, a quiet intention.
Sign number four that you might need more support in your Jewish conversion process:
you’re holding yourself to impossible standards.
You miss one class and you immediately spiral, convinced that you’ve ruined everything.
You light candles late and you whisper to yourself that “a real Jew wouldn’t forget.”
You blank on a bracha and you wonder whether you’re even cut out for this.
Let me be clear. That’s not your soul speaking. That’s shame. That’s fear. That’s perfectionism dressed up like piety, and it’s lying to you.
The truth? Every Jewish journey involves missteps,
messy middles, and moments of doubt.
But you’re not failing. You’re just human and you’re building something new.
In Bayit Builders, we don’t aim for perfect. We am for real, for sustainable, for kind.
Because when compassion becomes the default,
shame can’t get a word in edgewise… or at least less so.
And if you’re wondering how to actually live that compassion,
how to meet yourself where you are instead of where you think you should be,
here’s some ways to start.
Practice saying “this is all part of the process.” ” Practice makes progress.”
Or another favorite cliche that’s actually true.
Write down three Jewish things you’ve done this month. They count.
And remind yourself, consistency is not the same thing as perfection. Done is better than perfect.
Sign number five that you might need more support in your Jewish conversion journey: you’re craving a place to ask questions without judgment. Not Reddit, not your rabbi’s overflowing inbox.
Not another Facebook group where you’re nervous about getting ganged up on.
You want a space where you can say the awkward thing. The “should I already know this” thing?
The “I feel like I’m the only one struggling with this” thing
and be met with curiosity, not criticism.
Because as we have said before, Judaism was never meant to be a solo sport.
And navigating conversion or building a Jewish life from scratch
shouldn’t mean Googling in the dark or bracing yourself before every question.
That’s what we’re building in Bayit Builders,
a community where questions are sacred,
support is real, and growth is allowed to be messy.
You don’t have to “have it together” to belong.
You just have to show up honestly, and we’ll meet you there.
What you can do today:
DM another convert or a Jewish friend you admire,
and ask them your question.
Write your question down. Even if you can’t ask it right now, at least you’ve honored it.
You can save these questions in a notebook or your phone for later.
Show up to a class, service, or event with the goal of introducing yourself to one friendly face today.
Just one.
Ask your rabbi or mentor if there’s someone you should know and ask if they’d be willing to connect you.
These steps might feel small, but they build momentum, especially if you stack them.
If you’re craving a deeper level of support, that’s what Bayit Builders is here for.
Doors close tonight at 8:00 PM Eastern.
This is the last day to join at the Founding Member rate. When the doors open again on August 24th, the price is going up.
So if you know this is for you, now’s the time.
This isn’t about doing it all.
It’s about doing what matters
with people who actually understand.
Come build with us. Links down below.
