Some Jewish moments are big and obvious — holidays, life cycle events, milestones you can see coming from a mile away. Others sneak up on you: the first time you light Shabbat candles on time, the first day back to class, the first time you feel truly at home in your Jewish community.
This is Part 3 of my Back-to-School Jewish Life series, where we get practical about starting the year with Jewish rhythm and intention. Today, we’re talking about small, doable rituals that help you mark new beginnings with meaning – from the Shehecheyanu blessing, to grounding moments before the day begins, to tiny habits that connect you to Jewish time even on busy school days.
Missed earlier parts? You can catch up here:
• Part 1: Back to School as a Jew? Here’s What No One Tells You
And if you want help finding the Jewish rhythms that actually fit your life, the Bayit Builders membership is here for you. We’ll guide you through the process step-by-step, with community support and a clear path forward. Join the waitlist here so you’ll be first to know when the next cohort opens.
Part 1: Back to School as a Jew? Here’s What No One Tells You | Jewish Back-to-School Part 1
Transcript below.
Transcript:
You’ve survived the school supply chaos. Navigated the awkward questions, and maybe even survived your first Shabbat of the year. Now what?
In this final part of my Back to School Jewish Life series,
we’re talking about rituals, spiritual intentions, and the small things that keep you anchored
even when life feels loud, messy, or disconnected.
Hi, I’m Kochava from Building a Jewish Life.com. I’m a Jewish convert who’s been helping people navigate conversion since 2010.
And if you’re building Jewish life on your own terms, whether that’s as a convert, a seeker, a parent, or a student,
I’ve got tools to support you.
Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming next.
Hint, it’s about saving money while you’re converting or building a Jewish life. Very practical, very useful.
And check out the free Resource Library when you join the mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com.
There’s even a freebie in the Resource Library that goes along with this series for back to school Jewish life.
Because Jewish life doesn’t have to be perfect to be sacred.
Let’s talk how to start this season with presence, reflection, and just enough structure to hold you, even if you’re neurodivergent like me and both hate and crave structure, and are really bad at creating it for yourself.
First, let’s look for tiny anchors of Jewishness.
Jewish identity can live in the quiet things.
A bedtime story, a laptop sticker, a picture on your wall. The necklace around your neck. They’re not just decorative. They’re grounding. Especially on the hard days.
Jewish life doesn’t have to be huge to be meaningful. Read a Jewish bedtime story to your kid. If you’re not already a member of PJ Library, you really should. I’ll put a link down below for PJ Library for parents who have Jewish kids. Whether you’re Jewish or not, as long as your kids are being raised Jewish, PJ Library sends you free books.
My own family has benefited from it for years. I love PJ Library and highly recommend it.
And they do have programs for older kids with chapter books.
You could put up Hebrew labels around the house to help you learn Hebrew.
Wear a star of David Necklace.
Sing a seasonal song while driving to school.
These tiny touches can add up to build a Jewish identity.
If you’re older, a Shabbat Shalom mug or a mezuzah on your dorm or apartment door if it’s safe for you, which, how pathetic is it that we have to ask whether it’s safe to put up a mezuzah?
These aren’t props, they’re reminders. And on the hard days they can be lifelines, especially when you’re dealing with the microaggressions and maybe even antisemitism as we discussed in part two.
So what if you treated the start of the school year as the beginning of a sacred journey? Not just a scheduling nightmare because it is going to be a scheduling nightmare, but it can also be sacred.
Jewish back to school prep isn’t all about pencil cases and planners.
It’s about how we start this season with purpose, especially since it’s usually around the time of the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, all of those great holidays that eat up an entire month.
Don’t lie. You also believe that it’s a lot. ’cause it is.
We get to treat the start of the new school year as a ritual
because it is.
These things that we repeat in life can be turned into rituals to bring deeper meaning to them. And to make it more fulfilling for you.
There’s something powerful about marking beginnings and there’s a reason why jewish tradition encourages us to mark all kinds of beginnings.
First days, new chapters, fresh notebooks.
Jewish tradition gives us ways to honor those transitions. So let’s use ’em.
Jewish ritual doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful.
A simple blessing can shift your whole season.
Here are some ideas.
Hi, Future Kochava here. Little under the weather, but I was editing and I realized I left out the most important ritual of all. So here, we’re gonna add it in now.
If you want a Jewish ritual that’s literally made for marking beginnings like back to school,
there’s the Shehechiyanu blessing. Don’t @ me. I know my pronunciation is terrible. This is one of the hardest words for me to say.
But if you are like frum from birth people like my husband. You are just gonna smush it all together into Shehechiyanu. I feel like a syllable gets lost there.
So, however you say it,
this is a blessing, a bracha, that we say anytime we’re doing something new.
Maybe it’s the first time we’ve done it in a long time. uh, Within the last year
or a milestone worthy first time in general.
It can be big things like your baby’s first steps, but it can also be the first apple you’ve had in this apple season. It can be big or small.
It turns everyday “firsts” into something holy and sacred,
which they should be. We should be celebrating these things more often, having more gratitude. ’cause that’s what this is at its root: it’s a gratitude practice. No woo woo required.
You’re not just putting on a backpack and walking into a new classroom.
You’re pausing to say, ” I’m grateful I’ve lived to see this moment.”
First day of school, new class, moving into the dorm, meeting your new roommate.
Finishing your first exam.
It doesn’t just have to be the Jewish things you’re celebrating. But you can celebrate those too. The first time you make kiddish.
Or the first time you remember to light Shabbat candles on time. All good times for Shehechiyanu.
It’s a way of saying, “wow, we made it to this moment.
Let’s pause and appreciate that.”
And honestly, in a world that keeps pushing us forward,
it’s nice to have permission to stop and notice the good.
If you’ve never said Shehechiyanu before, here’s how it goes.
Let’s start with the English translation. “Blessed are you,
Eternal our God, Sovereign of the universe,
who has given us life, sustained us, and brought us to this moment.”
Isn’t that nice?
Now let’s do the Hebrew. I’m gonna say it slowly. Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam shehechiyanu v’kiy’manu, v’higianu lazman hazeh I am always gonna give this disclaimer, but don’t hate on my Hebrew. I’m not the best.
You can say this bracha in Hebrew, English, or both. The power is in the intention and the pause that you’re taking.
And if you stumble over the words, totally fine. I hope that I have proved that to you by putting myself on the internet to thousands of people with my horrible Hebrew.
Judaism values the heart of the blessing, more than perfect pronunciation. We all make mistakes. None of us is perfect. Do it messy. Don’t let perfection stop you from doing things that are good for you.
A couple of quick things about Shehechiyanu,
We don’t usually say Shehechiyanu
for things that are bad or mournful. Like during the Nine Days that we just finished.
Even if that thing is something new that we’ve done and would otherwise “count” as a first.
This bracha is meant for joy, gratitude,
and marking life’s sweet spots.
And yes, anyone can say it, Jewish or not, converted or not. This is a practice for anyone.
If you’re worried about remembering it in the moment, here’s a trick. Write it down on a Post-it note
and keep it on your fridge.
Better yet, pop it into your notes app in your phone.
That way, when a Shehechiyanu moment pops up, you’re ready to go.
And if the school year already feels overwhelming,
that one deep breath for Shehechiyanu
can be a small moment of grounding before you step back into the chaos.
And if you’re in the Jewish month of Elul. This is literally the season of reflection.
It’s meant for checking in with who you are, who you’re becoming, and what needs adjusting before the New Year at Rosh Hashanah.
Try writing a short note to yourself that you’ll read after Yom Kippur.
Set a reminder on your calendar to open it and see what shifted.
You don’t need perfect answers, just presence.
Your Jewish journey doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, but it does get easier with support. Jewish life just isn’t a solo project. It’s a communal religion. A people.
Even if for you, it’s mostly late night Google searches and lots of trial and error.
You don’t need to wait for the “right time” or the “right level” of observance to reach out for help or companionship.
Start where you are.
You’re allowed to build a Jewish life without burnout, shame, or guesswork.
Okay. If you’ve made it through the calendars, the identity, and now the rituals, and hopefully you’re breathing a little deeper and a little more calmly.
But if you’re still thinking, “that’s a lot.” You’re not wrong.
That’s why you don’t have to do it alone.
Whether you’re a Jewish parent trying to raise kids without a blueprint
Or you’re a student figuring out what Jewish life means for you,
there are resources that can help.
I am gonna link above to my video about Jewish support.
You can find resources and support in all sorts of places, and be so grateful that it is not 1972, and you have the internet.
You can find resources and support in all kinds of places, and it doesn’t have to look one specific way.
Maybe it’s a synagogue that welcomes you in, even if you’re still figuring out where you belong in the Jewish world.
Maybe it’s a campus group like Hillel, Chabad, or the Jewish Student Union,
or if you’re a grad student, professional organizations or Jewish professional groups or even community groups for Jewish professionals in your field.
Maybe you show up once, feel awkward, but then you come again to give it a fair shot.
No group is for everyone.
But maybe it’s for you.
Sometimes your people aren’t “official.”
They’re a neighbor who invites you over for Shabbat dinner sometimes.
The friend who knows where the best bagel in town is.
The professor who tells you about a book that shifts your entire perspective.
Mentors don’t have to be rabbis. In fact, most aren’t.
Mentors don’t have to be experts.
They just need to be a few steps ahead of you and willing to walk with you.
And don’t sleep on online spaces. Yes, there are Facebook groups, but there’s also Discord servers, Reddit, WhatsApp chats, even quiet corners of TikTok and Instagram
where Jewish seekers
are doing real supportive, community building.
If you’re in a remote area, or just not ready for in-person spaces yet, online counts. It’s kinda like that phrase, “if you can’t buy your own, store-bought is fine.” That’s how I think of it. I’ll link above to my video for what to do
if you live in a place without a Jewish community or you think you don’t have a Jewish community there.
Sometimes your Jewish community starts as a podcast you listen to each week.
Or a YouTube channel that helps you learn without judgment.
None of that’s fake. That’s building roots.
Books can be a mentor too.
So can essays, poetry,
even Jewish memes. It all counts.
Sometimes a line from a novel or a Torah commentary is exactly the thing that keeps you going.
And if you haven’t found any of that yet,
that doesn’t mean you’re not doing it right. It just means you’re early. Keep going. Keep seeking.
For some of us, especially converts or people navigating religious trauma,
a therapist or a spiritual companion can be just as important as a rabbi.
They can be a person who helps you sort through the big questions and the hard moments. And if you are navigating religious trauma, know that there are therapists who specialize in that.
There is help and healing available.
I say this as I come on here in these videos and my anger over my past religious trauma out on the world stage for all to see. Yes, I do have a therapist,
and do you know the most healing thing I’ve done? Help other people. That’s what makes me feel better about the religious trauma that I went through, both Christian and Jewish.
This video you’re watching right now. That’s therapy for me in a really kind of weird, twisted way I guess. So thanks for helping me.
I may look like a teacher here, but I am absolutely navigating a lot of the pieces of this journey right alongside you.
Now let’s get back to what we were saying. This might sound cheesy, but sometimes the best resource is you, is your own voice.
The part of you that said yes to this journey in the first place.
That part is wise and it deserves to be listened to.
And as I said at the top there is my free Resource Library when you join the mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com.
And if you’re craving more support, structure, and actual strategy,
check out Bayit Builders. It’s my membership community
for folks building a meaningful Jewish life,
especially people who are converting and other Jewish seekers who are building that Jewish life one brick at a time.
Back to school season can feel like a whirlwind. Even without the Jewish calendar layered on top of the school calendar, but you don’t have to figure it all out today or alone.
You’re not just prepping for classes or figuring out lunches. You’re building something meaningful.
One candle, one sticky label, one slightly chaotic Friday night at a time.
If you’ve got a Jewish back to school ritual, something that grounds you, makes you smile, or keeps you from spiraling, I’d love to hear it. Drop it down in the comments below and let’s trade ideas.
And if this was helpful to you, I hope you’ll boop the like button and subscribe.
