Converting on a Budget: Why Jewish Life Feels So Expensive
I converted to Judaism as a broke student – and I wish someone had warned me how quickly the costs add up. Classes, books, synagogue dues, kosher food, modest clothing… it can feel like every step toward Jewish life comes with a receipt attached.
That’s why I’m starting a new 3-part series: Converting on a Budget. It’s full of practical, realistic tips for making Jewish life sustainable without burning through your wallet.
Here’s the breakdown:
- Part 1 (today): Why Jewish life feels so expensive (and what’s normal vs. what’s a red flag)
- Part 2: Affordable ways to learn – from classes to books to community resources
- Part 3: Budget-friendly approaches to food, holidays, and ritual items
If you’ve ever felt like money is the barrier between you and the Jewish life you want, this series is for you.
👉 And if you’re looking for support that goes deeper than one video, my membership Bayit Builders reopens for the second cohort on Sunday, August 24, for the Jewish New Year. Inside, you’ll find guidance, structure, and community to help you build a Jewish life that actually works for you. Join the waitlist here.
Part 2: The Sneaky Costs of Converting to Judaism | Conversion on a Budget Part 2
Part 3: Is Converting to Judaism More Expensive Than You Think? | Conversion on a Budget Part 3
Transcript below.
Transcript:
 I converted to Judaism twice as a broke student. Here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier.
Wanna convert to Judaism, but concerned about the costs?
 You’re not being shallow and you’re definitely not alone. 
Hi, I’m Kochava. I’m a Jewish convert who’s been helping people convert to Judaism since 2010 through my blog, Building a Jewish Life.com. 
From meat prices to mezuzahs, Jewish life adds up fast.
Books, classes, kosher food, modest clothes, living in a Jewish community…
it can feel like the receipts never stop printing.
 And most of us aren’t exactly rolling in disposable income while trying to change our entire lives. 
In my experience, a huge number of people who are converting to Judaism fall into two camps, students and the elderly, and usually neither of them is rich.
Conversion is already emotional enough,
you don’t need the added stress of surprise expenses knocking you off your path.
 That’s why today we are starting a three part series on how to convert to Judaism on a budget. 
We’re gonna break down exactly what to expect
so you can move forward with confidence and clarity and save a little money along the way too. This video is aimed at people who are converting to Judaism, but honestly, it’s about how to save money as you’re building a Jewish life from the ground up. In part one of this video, we’re gonna talk about why conversion itself is so expensive,
how to avoid shady or unnecessary costs,
and what some of those community expectations can cost you, both emotionally and financially.
Part two is your practical guide to saving money in all those basic expense categories.
From classes to kitchen tools, books to ritual items.
Part three digs into what people forget to budget for.
Hidden costs, emotional labor, burnout and long-term expectations to keep up with the Stines.
All those costs that don’t always show up in the first six months.
Whatever kind of conversion you’re pursuing, whether it’s Orthodox or reform,
this series will help you convert with your eyes open and your dignity intact. Yeah, I guess cats just do that.
Stick around for real talk, real tools,
money saving tips,
 and ways to build a Jewish life that is spiritually rich, even if your bank account isn’t. 
And if you want some free tools to support your journey,
join my mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com. You’ll get instant access to my Resource Library,
which includes tools like the Jewish Experience Tracker, the Conversion Timeline Cheat Sheet, and the Rabbi Meeting Prep Sheet. And lots more, and it’s growing all the time.
 You can build a meaningful Jewish life without going broke or going into debt,
and today I’m gonna show you how. 
Stick around for practical, honest ways to lower the cost without lowering the integrity of your journey.
Before we dive in, let’s make a quick note.
Conversion looks different across the Jewish spectrum-
orthodox, conservative, reform, or another movement-
and so do the costs.
What’s required for an Orthodox conversion is not the same as what’s gonna be required for a reform conversion.
This video is going to give you the perspective from the Orthodox or more traditional side of things, because those conversions tend to be the most expensive and time consuming.
 But no matter how you’re converting, you’ll find helpful tips in each section. 
So let’s talk about those real costs, invisible ones, and practical ways to plan.
You know your girl. I like to keep things practical.
 So why is conversion so expensive? 
It’s not just you.
If you’ve ever stared at that growing list of expenses and thought, ” is it supposed to cost this much just to become Jewish,” you’re not imagining it.
Conversion shouldn’t have a price tag. You’re not buying Judaism.
But changing your life and your culture does come with some real world costs. And in many ways it’s, this sounds really flippant, but it’s kind of like a really intense hobby. You know how people get involved with like SCA, the Society for Creative Anachronism, those people who do like renaissance fairs and other types of historical cosplay. Converting to Judaism is a little like that.
It’s can get very expensive depending on how deep you want to go.
So this isn’t that weird of an idea.  And it’s not specific to Judaism exactly, just because other religions have a lower barrier of entry. They’re just different. 
So some normal and fair costs that you can expect to face during the conversion process: probably an intro to Judaism class, books,
and usually at least some administrative fees for the conversion itself. That could be the Beit Din, the rabbinical court who oversees it, the sponsoring rabbi who is taking their time to help guide you through the process. And also for the mikvah or if you need a circumcision or a hatafat dam brit, which is a symbolic circumcision.
 All of those things cost money because it’s time.  And I think it’s entirely fair for rabbis to charge for their time, but it should be a fair price. It should not be extortionate. It should also not be secret.
It should not be changing over time.
Like it should be done in a respectful business-like manner.  I’m not asking for anything crazy here, but sometimes you would think I was. 
These reasonable costs are reflecting time, resources, and access, not a paywall.
I’ll link above to my video about red flags in the conversion process, but specifically some of the monetary red flags that you’ll find here if a rabbi is charging you just to speak. That’s weird.
If a program “guarantees” conversion, once you’ve paid a certain price.
 No one offering a legitimate conversion can “guarantee” you will finish the process. 
Are you seeing lots of hidden upsells?
Look for when it’s more grift than guidance.
Generally, the ones that feel like grifts are also going to be the conversions that are not going to be respected by many people. Save yourself the trouble.
Make sure to ask questions. What’s included? How much does it cost? What’s the breakdown of the cost between the different parts?
Who’s supervising, who’s in charge?
Which Beit Din is gonna be involved?
 You deserve clarity, and you should never be shamed for asking good questions. 
Conversion should be a spiritual journey, not a luxury product.
So let’s dig down a little deeper.
You’ve made it through the classes and the community building. And now it’s time to pay to get wet?
Let’s talk honestly about Beit Din and mikvah fees during Jewish conversions.
This is where a little sticker shock can come in.
Some Beit Din fees are clear and reasonable, some are less clear.
Thankfully, in recent years, there has been an increased movement towards cost transparency.
 Any legitimate Beit Din should be providing you a list of the costs of the Beit Din, mikva, and other associated administrative fees right off the bat in writing.  I would venture to say that that is now the standard, and I think it should be the standard. Anyone who is not providing that is probably not gonna do a good job by you.
They’re gonna be frustrating and they’re gonna be confusing and they may not even be legitimate.
 You are made Betzelem Elokim, in the image of God. You deserve to be treated fairly and with respect and with dignity, and that requires being upfront with costs. 
If these costs are not laid out explicitly from the beginning, for me, that is a huge red flag. So ask early about those costs. Ideally, they should be written out on paperwork, but if you haven’t seen it, ask. They should be happy to provide that information to you. If they try to slow roll it or they try to make you feel guilty- again, red flags.
Usually you’re gonna find these costs printed out on some form of paperwork around the time you apply to the Beit Din, or around the time you’re accepted by that Beit Din.
Fees can include an application cost, administrative fees, registration fees.  Usually you won’t have all three of those, but you’ll usually have at least one, maybe two. 
Mikva usage. They’re opening up the mikva for you during the day at a time it would normally be closed. It is pretty expensive. Usually it’s around 150 to $200. At least, what I’ve seen. I’ve seen that price stay pretty stable, even including inflation. So that is a price that was current as of when I was converting 15 years ago, but it appears to still be pretty standard today.
Usually it’s 180, which is a multiple of 18. And the Hebrew letters of the number 18 spell the word chai, which means “life.” And so often Jewish things are priced in intervals of 18. So often you’ll see the mikvah is 180.
As I said before, you can have fees for the rabbi or the urologist who does a circumcision or a symbolic circumcision, which is the hatafat dam brit, where they draw a symbolic drop of blood from the circumcision area If you’re already circumcised.
Unofficial costs that may not be mentioned are travel. In many cases, you’ll be traveling to the Beit Din. They won’t be local to you, so you may need to factor in hotels, flights, gas, all of those costs for traveling,  especially if you’re gonna miss work or school, as I often did. 
And there are gonna be fees to the rabbis involved on the Beit Din and often also the sponsoring Rabbi, I have a small beef with this. I’m not opposed to them getting a fee at all. I believe they should be paid for their time and their work. But what I object to is they’re often called “donations,” but they’re not donations.
There is usually, there is nothing voluntary about those fees. They are a fee and they should be labeled that way. I think it’s sketchy to call it a donation. It does not make me trust you. That feels unethical.
 If it’s required for your conversion to move forward, it’s a fee and let’s not pretend otherwise. 
It deserves to be presented transparently.
Calling it a donation doesn’t make it feel any less mandatory or easier to budget for.
Sometimes a Beit Din will offer financial aid, payment plans, or sliding scales. There is nothing lost by asking.
 Don’t be afraid to ask. The worst they can do is say no. 
Let’s look now at the cost of community because it’s not just challah and hugs.
Community can come with a price tag. Sometimes it’s rent or roommates or both.
As a general rule, regardless of which type of Judaism you’re converting into, they’re gonna require you to have an in-person community component.  You’re gonna have to be involved with an in-person Jewish community. Involved with a synagogue and attending services and otherwise being involved in the social life of the community. 
And that means you need to live near it. If you’re going to be Orthodox, you need to live within walking distance of a synagogue. And most Beit Dins are not gonna let you get away with like, “oh, I’ll live two miles away where the rent is cheaper.” No, they usually want you within one mile of the synagogue you plan to attend.
 And not surprisingly, that drives rents and home prices up. 
These Orthodox communities are intentionally walkable. That’s beautiful, but it’s also expensive.
And yes, sometimes it feels like the unspoken rule
is “move to Brooklyn to be a real Jew.” Spoiler. That’s not true. You don’t have to live in Brooklyn. You don’t have to live in the New York City area. You don’t have to live in Israel. You don’t have to live in any specific place.  But your Beit Din may require you to live in a certain place, especially if you’re in an Orthodox conversion and you’re single. 
They may want you in a large community where there is a bigger dating pool, and sometimes that sucks.
Some of these Batei Din will require you to relocate. Ask early on, so there are no surprises.  Ask what’s expected before you make major life decisions.  Now, here’s where it gets a little complicated. If you’re married or you’re living with a partner, you might actually, at least in the orthodox space, be asked to live separately for a while,
usually a couple of months during the final stages of the conversion.
This is, as you can imagine, not easy, especially if you have children. The idea is they’re trying to ensure that there is no pregnancy involved. They don’t want you having sex.  I don’t know why we can’t just say, “don’t have sex.” That would be easy and people wouldn’t have to move outta their house and leave their children without a parent most days of the week. 
But increasingly, I see Beit Dins getting stricter about this rather than more lenient. And in the UK, if you convert with the London Beis Din, you are generally required to live with an Orthodox family for six months.
And I have seen people try to get exemptions, and I have not seen a single person get an exemption.  I guess in theory there can be exemptions. I haven’t seen ’em. 
I think it really drives away people who deserve to be Jewish, but I am not a rabbi and I am not in charge of this. If that is your position and you’re frustrated by it, I see you and I agree with you. It sucks. Sometimes things suck in this because all of these processes are created and run by human beings, and that means it’s gonna be imperfect.
 If these situations apply to you, they have very serious emotional and financial impacts. Plan ahead. 
Even if you do plan to move eventually into your Jewish community, most people can’t pick up and move right away. So how do you build community when you’re not in a Jewish community? I’ll link above to a video I made it on that topic, but let’s talk about it some here.
Jewish community doesn’t have to only exist in your zip code.
 If moving isn’t realistic for you right now and you don’t have a Jewish community around you, you can still build connection where you are. 
In fact, that’s part of why I created my membership Bayit Builders. It’s an online space for conversion candidates and seekers and converts who are building a Jewish life from scratch wherever they live.
And most people live in very un Jewish areas.
You can also find community in Facebook groups, discord servers, zoom classes.
And there are even virtual synagogue services online, if that’s your thing.
 Real connection can happen through a screen. I am proof of that.  I started my blog because I had a rabbi who was a jerk . And who said that I wasn’t allowed to ask him questions about anything unless it was in a public class and on the topic of the class. He eventually got fired for how he treated conversion candidates in his community.
So I, I understand that my situation was extreme, but I turned to the internet and this was in 2010. Online communities were not what they are today. And I turned to Twitter and I found the Twitpacha, which is Twitter, combined with the Hebrew word mishpacha, which means family. So the Twitpacha answered my questions and helped me and explained things to me that I wasn’t able to get within my community, even though I had a Jewish community.
And that is how my blog started way back in 2010. I started collecting those answers so that other people who were in that same position could find them too.  Because this information deserves to be shared and people deserve to have their questions honored. Questions are holy. I believe that so deeply. 
You being here on this YouTube right now learning about Jewish things, that is holy, that is community building.
Don’t downplay it and like write it off as something foolish or not good enough. Every step counts.  And you will be so surprised where these early steps can lead. 
You never know who you will connect with and the connections in the community you will build. Just keep moving forward is all I can tell you. It worked really well for me and I believe it can work well for you too.
 And as long as you have a computer and the internet, most of these things are pretty much free. 
So when you do get a chance to attend something in person,
whether it’s a holiday meal, a retreat, a concert, an art exhibit, go if you can, even if you have to travel to it. Maybe you have to drive an hour or maybe three hours.  Every chance that you take to get involved in Jewish community is going to feed your soul and support you.
These moments build memory and momentum. 
Of course, that may include travel costs. Try carpooling. Try seeing if other people around you would like to go. There are ways we can share costs and make things cheaper. And with a lot of these events, you can contact them and ask if there are scholarships or other free or reduced prices.
 You would be surprised what you can get just because you asked.  Sometimes you can offer to volunteer in order to be able to go for free.
So one more tip that I have for you is mentors do not have to be rabbis.
Sometimes someone who’s just a few steps ahead of you can make all the difference.
And if you’re going it alone geographically, try documenting that journey, especially if you plan to move later.  You wanna get credit for that time you’re building a Jewish life even before you move. 
To help you track this, especially when you’re living in a place without a strong Jewish community. In my free Resource Library, I have the Jewish Experience Tracker, which helps you track all of those things like kosher restaurants
you go to, trips you take, exhibits you see at the museum, people you make relationships with. All of those things can be tracked on the Jewish Experience Tracker. It’s not just a book list, which is what most people will tell you to do, is just “log your books!”  But your Jewish life is far more than books. 
So If you want that, that’s at Building a Jewish Life.com.
So now we’ve covered why conversion can get expensive
and where some of those hidden costs start to creep in.
But now it’s time to get specific. In part two of this series. We’re gonna break down exactly where your money tends to go and how to make smarter, soul aligned choices that won’t blow your budget. We’ll talk classes and books and how not to drown in Amazon purchases. Kosher kitchen setup
without buying two or three of everything immediately. Ritual items, wardrobe shifts, modesty on a dime, and the family factor, if you have kids.
Whether you’re just starting out or knee deep in your journey,
part two will help you cut costs without cutting corners.  So make sure you’re subscribed and boop the like button while you’re at it. 
And if you know someone else who’s navigating this path, share this video with them.
And down in the comments, I want you to drop your best advice for saving money during the Jewish conversion process. Let’s crowdsource this.
We don’t talk enough about the ways that this can really derail your financial goals, and we should help each other.
See you in part two,
where we’ll turn financial overwhelm into clarity and calm.
