Do you have to fast on Yom Kippur? Short answer: if you’re a healthy adult — yes. If fasting would harm you — no, and it can actually be a mitzvah to eat. This guide is your calm, judgment-free walkthrough of what counts, what doesn’t, and how to show up meaningfully at home — even without a community.
In this post (and the video), we’ll cover:
- Who fasts and who shouldn’t – minors, medical needs, pregnancy/postpartum, meds, and Eating Disorder considerations
- What “counts” on YK – the five inuyim (no food/drink, washing for pleasure, anointing, intimacy, leather shoes), plus real-life hygiene exceptions
- Why we do this
- Safety first – red flags that mean stop fasting; plain-English shiurim (measured sips/bites) when advised
- Kids at home – age guidelines and simple ways they can participate
- Make it doable – scripts for partners, bosses, and roommates, quiet-house tactics, and kinder pre/after fast meals
If you want a step-by-step plan for a full, partial, modified, or spiritual fast — with safety notes, scripts, and a break-fast checklist — grab my companion PDF, Fasting (or Not) With Intention.
Then hit play and let’s make Yom Kippur honest, safe, and deeply meaningful — wherever you’re starting from.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
Do you have to fast on Yom Kippur? What if you can’t?
All Jewish communities treat Yom Kippur as a full fast, no food and no drink for all healthy adults.
But if fasting would harm you, Jewish law says don’t.
And there are still meaningful ways you can show up even if you’re not fasting.
Who fasts, what counts, what doesn’t count? What about kids?
What about eating disorders?
Why do we even do this?
Let’s talk about it and I’ll include some tips on how to do it more easily.
Hi, I’m Kochava. I’m a Jewish convert and I’ve been helping people convert to Judaism since 2010 through my blog, Building a Jewish Life.com.
If you’d like more support around fast days, including Yom Kippur,
I have a guide called Fasting (or Not) with Intention.
It is got step-by-step plans, safety notes, and alternatives no matter what kind of fast you’re having.
So Yom Kippur, Yom Kippur, however you wanna say it.
It is a hella hard fast, 25 hours, no food, no drink. And because it has the rules of Shabbat and holidays, you also can’t just curl up and watch Netflix.
But it’s not just a fast, at least of food and drink. We “fast” from other types of activities.
There are five in total. No eating and drinking,
No washing for pleasure.
No anointing, which means like lotions and perfumes.
No physical intimacy.
And no leather shoes. Obviously.
Jewish days start the night before on the secular calendar, so Yom Kippur will start in the evening at sunset.
It continues until nightfall of the next day, s o approximately 25 hours.
And the big exemptions are kids and for health reasons.
One of Judaism’s foundational principles is Pikuach Nefesh, which means saving a life.
You can break almost any mitzvah- almost, if it would save a life. And we generally interpret that pretty broadly.
But on Yom Kippur, a lot of people have a really hard time applying that to themselves.
Speaking as a convert who came to this practice as an adult and as a disabled adult who is not able to fully fast now, it looks weird to me.
I know Jews who do nothing Jewish all year long, but come hell or high water, they will be fasting on Yom Kippur. Even if they get sick, they will wait until the last possible moment to break a fast and will put themselves in sometimes dangerous situations.
I appreciate the commitment. But it’s foolish.
And it’s often very guilt driven in my conversations with these people.
Breaking the fast is so hard, and so like, so socially unacceptable that there is even an organization dedicated to helping people who have to eat on Jewish fasts. It’s a great resource. I have zero connection to them other than enjoying their resources. It’s called A Mitzvah to Eat because if you were required not to fast, you in fact are doing a mitzvah by eating on a fast day.
It’s not that you’re breaking a mitzvah, you are doing a different mitzvah.
If this is your first fast, the most important thing I can tell you is you probably won’t be successful. I know I am always full of such good news, but it’s okay. Fasting, especially this kind of dry fasting where there’s no food or water, is really hard.
And it’s very much like building a muscle. Your first, second, third fast may not be what you want it to be, and that’s okay. The goal you wanna be aiming for is always improving.
But I’ll tell you the most important rule of fasting for people who are new to fasting: make sure a trusted person knows that you’re fasting and will check in on you.
Things can go south quickly.
You need to have someone you can reach out to if you need help.
But we’ve got a lot more to talk about here.
So Yom Kippur is the strictest fast of the Jewish year by far, and fasting is the principle mitzvah of the day.
If going to synagogue or davening would make you too sick to and have to stop fasting, a rabbi would tell you you shouldn’t do those things. That’s right. A rabbi might tell you to lay down in bed and stay in bed all of Yom Kippur.
That is not an unusual recommendation.
The fasting ranks above all other activities you might do on Yom Kippur.
So why do we even do this?
There is another tradition that a lot of people do is wearing white on Yom Kippur.
Many people wear a kittel, which is a kind of white garment that Jews are buried in when we die.
And in fact, that is one interpretation for these practices on Yom Kippur. That it’s reminding us that life is finite and will one day end.
It’s Memento Mori.
It’s hope that these will be visceral reminders to help you do Teshuvah, which is usually translated as repentance, but actually means like turning, and you can think of it as returning to what matters.
A second interpretation is that it’s making us like angels. And I was discussing this with my husband earlier today and he had a great analogy.
He described it as dressing your best for your yearly review with your boss.
Kind of like dress for the job you want, not the job you have. So we dress up as angels. Angels don’t eat or drink. Angels wear white. You know, it makes sense.
You wanna aim for that singular focus and devotion that the angels have.
But why the no leather shoes? That’s the one that got me.
Especially because all of these practices echo what we do on Tisha B’Av the saddest day of the Jewish year, when we do morning practices, and they’re almost exactly the same between Tisha B’Av and Yom Kippur, except for one: sitting low to the ground.
Which when sitting Shiva for a close family member who’s died, we tend to sit lower down towards the ground.
So why? I don’t have a good answer. This could be totally wrong, but this is the answer that occurred to me.
On Tisha B’Av we’re the mourner. On Yom Kippur we’re the body. Maybe that’s why, I don’t know. If you have answers, please put them down in the comments below ’cause I would love to hear.
But I did find out the leather shoes question. It’s because those were considered comfortable shoes back in the day, and we are trying to lessen our comfort. You don’t have to actually suffer and you don’t have to have pain. But we wanna minimize the levels of comfort that we bring today.
And also a little bit about humility.
There’s a couple of other interpretations, but those were the two major ones.
And a side note, other types of leather are allowed. It’s limited to just shoes.
But that brings us to a bigger question. What counts and doesn’t count during the fast?
Obviously any food or water would break the fast: tea, coffee, mints, but also like gum.
What about medications?
As a general rule, take your medications as prescribed. If you have a rabbi, these are great questions to ask your rabbi. But I am aware that most of the people watching these videos don’t have a rabbi.
So as a general rule, take your medications as prescribed.
But if you’re concerned about it, speak to your doctor and see if this is something that you could skip for a day, or that you could move to the evening instead, and you could take it after the fast is over. But listen to your doctor. Your rabbi is usually gonna side with what your doctor says.
And yes, that includes water and food if you have to take those with your medication.
So we talked about the bathing for pleasure. It also includes hand washing.
Generally, if it is a non-hygiene hand washing, you would just wash the fingers up to the big knuckle.
That’s also true of Netilat Yadayim, when you are doing ritual hand washing after like going to the bathroom, after you wash your hands with soap, or upon waking up in the morning.
But what about when you’re gross?
One Yom Kippur, I got baby poop all over my hand.
If there is dirt, mess, or an actual hygiene need, like diaper changes, medical work, food preparation… wash what you need when you need, soap included.
The restriction is on comfort, not cleanliness or safety.
Here’s one that didn’t occur to me, but I have been surprised how many people have asked it: swallowing saliva. Yes, that’s totally fine.
What about swallowing someone else’s saliva? Well, you’re not supposed to be physically intimate on this day. Again, kind of going to that dead, best behavior type stuff.
I’ve never heard a rabbi actually say this. I doubt other person’s saliva would be breaking the fast, but it would be breaking the fast of the intimacy part. I’m just spit balling here.
Hey, anointing. Lotions, chapstick, usually makeup. Creams perfume.
But again, medical products allowed.
You can ask about delaying them like we talked about with other medications.
Mouthwash and teeth brushing. A lot of people skip them in order to avoid accidentally swallowing some of the mouthwash or toothpaste.
That’s something you’re gonna wanna ask your rabbi about.
Now, what about accidents? Say for instance, you get splashed in the face in the shower and accidentally swallow some water. Accidents happen.
Don’t let it throw you off. Just keep fasting.
So we got what. Now let’s look at who: healthy Jewish adults are obligated in the fast.
There are some categories of people who are more likely to not be asked to fast. There’s a lot of debate about people who are pregnant or postpartum.
Also for people who are breastfeeding and if it would affect your milk supply.
Medical conditions, obviously. Like diabetes and needing to eat is a common one.
Meds that require food or water. People who are frail or elderly.
People who are on eating disorder treatment plans or have historically had disordered eating.
And minors.
These things aren’t loopholes. These are baked into the halacha, the laws of fasting.
And just in case you needed to hear this. Your pets don’t have to fast. You’re allowed to feed your pets and you’re allowed to feed your children. And anyone else who is not fasting, you are allowed to feed them.
How do you know when to break a fast? What are the red flags? Dizziness, confusion, rapid heartbeat, overwhelming sleepiness, chest pain, being faint, severe weakness, vomiting. Very low blood sugar signs like shaking, sweating, confused.
Decreased fetal movement if you’re pregnant.
And heat stroke.
If you have any of those red flag symptoms, break your fast, eat normally, and seek help.
Those are very serious signs that you are not okay.
What if you don’t have those red flags, but you’re also clearly not okay?
In those cases, what a rabbi will usually recommend is what’s called Shiurim.
If you suspect that you might need to do Shiurim, set aside in advance a shot glass or a medicine cup and a kitchen timer. Those will come in handy.
So Shiurim basically means taking in a small amount of food or a small amount of liquid over a long period of time. It’s essentially so little that you’re not actually breaking the fast.
If you have a rabbi, definitely talk to your rabbi about how they would recommend breaking the fast, and how they would recommend doing Shiurim if that’s relevant for you.
But I can tell you some general recommendations that are out there.
If hydration is your issue, you can take basically a shot glass of water or an electrolyte drink, about 40 milliliters or one ounce, every nine minutes.
If on the other hand you need blood sugar support, you’ll want to eat that amount or less every nine minutes.
If you suspect it’s a little of both, you can trade off eating and drinking with Shiurim.
The question that I cannot answer for you is how long do you continue doing Shiurim?
I’ve seen some suggestions that if symptoms continue to worsen or don’t improve, you should shorten to four minutes.
I’ve seen recommendations that you should do it for a certain number of times, and if you haven’t improved in that time, then you should break the fast fully.
Whether that’s doing Shiurim for three times or two hours, I can’t answer that for you. This is why we pay rabbis the big bucks. Yeah, that’s ridiculous.
While doing Shiurim, make sure that you’re laying down and resting. No stairs, no driving. If nothing else, you need to make sure that you tell someone that you are not well.
In some cases, your rabbi may say that Shiurim are not appropriate. This is particularly true for people who have a history of eating disorders.
In that case, it’s a mitzvah to eat in a steady, non-restricted way.
They also may say this if you’re pregnant or postpartum or have a medical condition, but your mileage may vary.
And again, if you’re having those red flag signs, Shiurim are not appropriate. You need to eat or drink normally and get help.
If you have to start taking Shiurim and you’re kind of disappointed by that, here are some phrases that you could use to help yourself. ” I need something right now. I’ll reassess it X time.”
” My fasting plan says that I need to eat normally now. That’s the mitzvah.”
” I’m using measured sips and bites because I’m unwell.
This is still Yom Kippur.
And Pikuach Nefesh comes first.”
So let’s look deeper at kids.
These are just some general guidelines. Obviously, you know your kid better than I do.
Under nine years old, no fasting, no meal delays. As I have learned, you may have kids who try to do it anyway, but don’t encourage it and tell them they shouldn’t.
Around nine to 10, people tend to be doing chinuch, education. Start doing some slight delays in the meals, but not a full fast.
11 and 12 is when people start learning more about fasting. And the obligation comes when a person is declared a legal Jewish adult. Girls at 12 and boys at 13. Bar or bat mitzvah.
Health permitting, obviously.
What are some ways to make the day meaningful, whether you’re fasting or not? Traditionally, there is a three-pronged formula: tzedakah, charity and generous acts. Prayer, Tefilah. And Teshuvah, that returning and repentance, and making things right in our relationships with each other. I’ll link up here and down below to a video about how Jews apologize. It’s a pretty cool system.
These are activities you can include your children in or other people in the household who aren’t fasting.
As a big picture idea, there are four approaches to a fast day, including Yom Kippur: a full fast. A partial fast, which is when you fast in a shorter timeframe, maybe just the evening or maybe just delaying as long as you can the next morning. Three, a modified fast. Maybe you have plain foods, maybe you only drink water.
Skip indulgences like sweets.
And you can even combine partial and modified fasts if you want. And then four, a more spiritual fast.
Maybe you can’t physically fast and you would like to “fast” in other ways. For instance, a speech fast where you try to go an hour without speaking any gossip. If you’re not following traditional rules, you could do a fast from social media. You could do a fast from technology. You could commit to taking on only Jewish learning for the day.
There are a lot of ways you could approach a spiritual fast.
So again, a general framework: holiness is not rooted in suffering. Suffering is not the point of Yom Kippur.
It’s to not be comfortable.
I know that seems kind of like a wishy-washy distinction, but we’ll run with it.
Now, the practical tactics. Let’s make the day easier.
The video is dropping a little late for this, but when you find this video next year, I want you to remember that hydration is holy. For at least two to three days before, I want you super hydrated. Drink all the water. I mean, don’t make yourself sick, but you know what I mean.
And most important of all. Taper off caffeine for three to five days beforehand. Start a week ahead of time, if you can. The number one cause of headaches while fasting is caffeine withdrawal, and in fact, you will find people who use patches or suppositories to deliver caffeine directly into their bodies without breaking the laws of fasting.
It weirds me out every year, but still people pop up selling them.
And probably the best advice that I can give you is to prep carefully for your pre fast meal and your break fast meal.
Ideally fix both meals before you start the fast so that that way you’re not having to figure out what you’re going to eat while you are fasting. Have it ready to go and ready to just heat up.
Recommendations for a pre and post fast meal are pretty similar. Traditionally, people recommend a lot of carbs, whole grains.
Pasta is a really common choice. That’s usually my choice.
But a tip that came up in the meeting of my Bayit Builders membership community, brought up the 📍 importance of protein. Especially for the pre fast meal because it’s gonna make you feel fuller for longer. So however you get your protein sources, you might wanna add some extra.
And really the perfect pre and post fast meal might just be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
If you have or have had an eating disorder, make sure to have contact information ready for a support hotline if you find yourself in acute distress around food or your body. I’m gonna link down in the description to some resources for that.
Now we come to the actual day of Yom Kippur.
Ideally, cancel everything that is not essential.
Make it quiet. Take it easy.
That means emotionally too. Try not to get involved in any heated discussions or debates. If you need to avoid some certain family members on that day, try to.
And whatever you do have to do, try to front load it as early in the day as possible when you’re still feeling better. Things will get harder the longer the fast goes on.
And it sounds small, but being at a comfortable temperature is really helpful. Ideally you’ll want it a little cool.
If it’s hot and you don’t have air conditioning, try to spend time in places that do have air conditioning.
And this might be hard, but you’re gonna wanna try your best to avoid food smells.
Same with cooking shows.
Ideally prep food for other people in advance so that you’re not having to prepare it for them while you’re fasting. And even better if it’s things like sandwiches that don’t have a strong smell.
If you have physical chores that you need to do like walking the dog or you have a farm, try to see if you can outsource those if possible. Maybe trade favors with a friend.
Again, you just wanna minimize your physical activity for the day as best you can. Now what about kids?
Every parent knows that fasting while parenting sucks, there’s just no way around it. It just sucks.
The younger, the worse. If you’re able to, arrange as much childcare as you can.
Synagogues often have available at least a few hours of babysitting, especially during the services. You may have to pay for it, but it’s usually a pretty reasonable rate.
You could try swapping childcare for a few hours with a friend. If they’re not fasting, then maybe you offer to return the favor on another day. If you’re both fasting, then you can just trade it so at least you get a little bit of the day to yourself.
There’s babysitters, obviously. There’s also mother’s helpers, which are like younger kids, 10 to 12, who come over while you’re still in charge, but they can play with your kids and distract them, and it’s cheaper than regular babysitting.
As best you can, you wanna have activities available and ready to go to keep them as busy and quiet as you can.
If you’re not following traditional practices and you normally don’t do screen time with your kids, Yom Kippur is a really good day to try a little screen time.
We don’t shame around screen time here.
As much as possible, you wanna get self-sufficient activities Anything that you’re not gonna have to be super involved in.
And again, try to prepare food and snacks in advance as much as possible.
If you’re fasting and your partner’s not, or your partner happens to be a better faster than you are, that’s my situation. A script you can use to talk to them about this is something along the lines of, “I’m prioritizing the fast this year.
So I’d really like to be horizontal and quiet as much as possible.
Could you handle the kids’ meals and help keep them calm and happy? A trip to the park would be great.”
You can volunteer that you’ve prepared food and quiet time activities, and then you can offer to return the favor at another time.
Roommates can be a little trickier.
With a roommate, you could say something like, “I’ll be observing the Yom Kippur fast this year.
And I’ll be trying to rest as much as possible because I’m not having food or drinks for a full day.
Would you mind keeping TV or music kind of low and field the doorbell if it rings? I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and I’m happy to return the favor.”
If you think you can get away with it, you can ask them to minimize cooking smells.
And if not, you could take yourself somewhere else during meal times.
What about work?
Ideally, you would have the day off.
In most places in the world, you do have the legal right to take your religious holidays off.
I will link up here and down below to a video that tells you how to do that and gives you sample scripts.
Getting the day off is especially important if you have a physically demanding job.
But if you don’t have the day off, you can warn your coworkers and boss what you’re going through.
You could say something like. ” I’m gonna be fasting for Yom Kippur today, so I might be low energy and quieter than normal.”
You could say that you might be taking a short prayer break sometime around whatever time.
You can even ask for religious accommodations.
Some that just occur to me off the top of my head. Time to step away for prayer.
Skipping food-related events and celebrations like birthday cake. Avoiding the kitchen area.
Skipping optional work tasks or events.
Keeping your meeting contribution short or skipping them entirely. Keeping the camera off on Zoom.
Noting that you may respond slower.
Arrange to work on essentials only, with the understanding that you’ll catch up on the non-essentials the next day or whenever.
And you might wanna tell them that you’re not gonna be at the top of your game for quick decision making. Only you know your job, and whether these are going to be safe things for you to ask for.
And I’ve even got a script for the coworker who invites you out to lunch. You could say something like, “thanks for the invite. I am fasting today, so I’ll have to skip lunch. Can I take a rain check?”
You haven’t failed Yom Kippur if you can’t fast or if you have to break your fast.
Your presence and your intention matters.
Fasting is the preeminent mitzvah of Yom Kippur, but it’s not the only one.
And people who aren’t fasting on Yom Kippur are far more common than you think. The time has come to end the shame around it and to understand that Judaism says we should “live by the Torah, not die by it.” This is the root of Pikuach Nefesh; caring for the body that Hashem gave you is part of Jewish practice.
God understands. God gave you that body.
If you want more support around planning a Yom Kippur fast, grab my guide, Fasting (or Not) with Intention at Building a Jewish Life.com, and I’ll put the link down below as well.
Take care of yourselves, and G’mar Chatima Tovah.
