If you want this to be the year you convert to Judaism, you’re in the right place, and you are absolutely not alone.
So many people reach the moment where they say, “Okay… I’m ready. But what do I actually do now?”
I remember that feeling vividly. I’m Kochava, a Jewish convert who has been helping others navigate this journey since 2010 through my site, Building a Jewish Life. When I started my own conversion, I was overwhelmed, confused, and constantly second guessing whether I was doing it right. And honestly? There wasn’t much information available about conversion back then. It’s why I started this blog back in 2010 during my own conversion.
Instead of panic Googling or trying to piece together scraps of advice from ten different corners of the internet, you deserve clear, compassionate, and practical guidance from someone who has walked this path and helped so many others do the same.
In this video, we’ll walk through:
- what a realistic conversion timeline looks like
- why most conversions take at least a year (and why that’s a good thing)
- the steps that actually move you forward
- the most common places people get stuck
- how to choose – or find – a Jewish community
- what “readiness” really looks like to know when you’re done
- and the 4 next steps you can take right now to begin
Whether you’re brand new to Judaism or already months into the process, this guide will help you understand the road ahead with more confidence and less overwhelm.
Let’s get started.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
If you want this year to be the year you convert to Judaism, this is the video I wish someone had handed me at the beginning.
Hi, I’m Kochava.
I’m a Jewish convert and I’ve been helping other people convert to Judaism since 2010 through my blog, Building a Jewish Life.com.
Subscribe and grab the free Jewish Experience Tracker down below in the description.
It’ll help make sure that all the steps you take towards conversion actually count.
And if you want deeper support my membership Bayit Builders will be open to new members January 11th through 15th 2026.
I remember how overwhelming the beginning of the conversion process was. I had made a decision, but I didn’t know what to actually do with that decision.
And I thought it was dumb that we had to keep reinventing the wheel. That is why I started a blog, writing down everything that I was going through. Because no one should have to navigate this journey alone without practical, compassionate guidance.
So once you’ve made that decision, when you decide, “this is my year,” everything gets simpler. Even though it doesn’t really feel that way right now.
But now you have direction. You know where you’re going.
But you don’t need to see the whole map right now, you just need a starting point and the willingness to take the first step.
This video shows you what some of those first steps can be without perfectionism or panic.
So what does a realistic conversion timeline actually look like? That’s the most important question of all, right? I’m gonna be honest with you.
You generally cannot convert in under a year. No matter how motivated you are.
A lot of seekers get really discouraged when they hear that, but that timeline is actually supposed to protect you.
It gives you the space to grow into your Jewish life instead of rushing through it.
Once you convert, you can’t un-convert.
They wanna make sure that you’re sure.
It’s a lot like an engagement period, making sure you’re ready to get married to each other.
Because the Jewish people is marrying you just as much as you are marrying the Jewish people.
So what does that actually mean in practice? The real reason you’re going to be given is usually that rabbis wanna make sure that you’ve seen an entire year of Jewish holidays. You’ve gone through the entire yearly cycle at least once.
So you know what you’re getting into.
But increasingly in orthodox conversions, you’re gonna see a minimum timeline of two years. Just because the learning curve is that much steeper.
If you wanna go more in depth on this one year requirement, I have a short video about it. I’ll link to up there and down below in the description.
There are a few fast track online conversion programs, but they’re not gonna be recognized by your local rabbi or synagogue or the Israeli immigration authorities.
They’re the conversion equivalent of a miracle diet: great marketing, terrible results.
Every legitimate respected conversion requires an in-person community component.
Anyone promising otherwise just wants your money. Buyer beware. And if you wanna go deeper into online conversions and what parts can be online and what parts can’t, watch this video above or down in the description below.
So what actually moves the needle forward?
Real growth in the conversion process doesn’t come from doing more.
It comes from doing the right things sustainably and consistently.
You’re no good to anyone, including yourself, if you burn out.
Some of these practices that are gonna move your conversion forward are regular learning, at least weekly.
Showing up for services and events in the community.
Having a prayer life.
Practicing Jewish life in the home.
Periodic rabbi meetings to go over your progress and where you should move forward next.
And in general, building community slowly and authentically.
These steps are simple on paper, but can be really complex in practice.
These small, steady rhythms are the foundation of Jewish life.
Conversion isn’t about becoming a new person, certainly not overnight.
You’re not leaving your old life behind. You’re evolving into your full self. That takes time.
But what if you don’t live near a Jewish community?
There is still hope.
And check out this video that I made for people like you.
Okay. Some more real talk because that’s kind of what I’m known for. I give you a lot of bad news, but in a really kind way, hopefully. But more importantly, I tell you how to deal with the bad news and make it easier.
So you cannot convert without a community.
And yet, that is where most people get stuck.
Choosing your community is one of the most important parts of the conversion process. It takes a village, as they say.
Community is the heart of Jewish life.
And your relationship with that community will shape your conversion.
And yes, most of the time we are using community as synonymous with the synagogue community. But it can mean like a town level. But let’s face it, in a lot of places there’s only one synagogue in town.
But in an ideal world, you would be able to visit, say, three synagogues, and choose the one that’s the best fit for you.
But in the real world, many people have one, maybe zero, options.
So here’s how to navigate those realities.
So one synagogue nearby.
Focus on building a relationship with the rabbi and figuring out whether this is a community that is good and sustainable for you.
Focus on getting to know the community as it is, not the way you wish it were.
Plenty of people convert through the one community available to them and build beautiful Jewish lives.
You don’t need a perfect fit. You just need a workable one.
Now, what if you have multiple options?
Start with two to three synagogues that are geographically reasonable for you. Visit each one at least twice.
First impressions matter a lot, but they’re not always accurate.
Pay attention to how the people interact with you and other newcomers.
And what the overall energy feels like.
Schedule a first meeting with the rabbi and ask about expectations, timelines, and community involvement.
Look for someone who listens, asks thoughtful questions, and explains their expectations clearly.
But rabbis are human.
Be careful with those first impressions.
But just in case, I do have a video about red flags in the conversion process, which is a really good idea to review before meeting any new rabbis.
And I want you to give yourself permission to try more than one community if the first community doesn’t work.
You’re not failing if the first place isn’t a great fit.
What if you have no options? So again, that video down below in the description for people without a community is gonna be the best help.
Start connecting with the closest synagogue anyway.
Lots of people drive regularly an hour or more to make those initial connections.
You’re not marrying them, and you can decide later on if moving there is a good fit or not. Finding your people takes time, and that’s part of the process. Not a delay, though it feels like a delay.
Your community is the foundation of your Jewish life.
Take the time to choose it intentionally.
You don’t need a perfect community.
You just need a place you can show up as genuinely yourself.
Whether you have one option or many, belonging grows over time.
Now let’s talk about the places where people get stuck trying to build that community.
Not because they’re unmotivated, but because this process is emotional, confusing, and sometimes pretty bureaucratic.
Here are the usual suspects.
Synagogue paralysis.
Have you ever heard of analysis paralysis? It’s that.
You’re spending months researching synagogues instead of actually going to one.
Two, visiting once, getting overwhelmed, and then several months later you’ve never been back.
Three, putting off that first email to the rabbi because you think you ought to know more, or you’re feeling too intimidated, or worse, waiting for some magical moment when you “feel ready.” Spoiler alert. You never feel ready for any of this.
And related to that four, feeling like an outsider, and assuming that that means something is wrong. It’s those flashes of imposter syndrome: “everyone knows what they’re doing except for me,” or “I feel like I’m intruding.”
These are the lies that your brain tells you.
There are always new people showing up to synagogues.
That is just the nature of life.
Anyone who is judging you for being new to this is a jerk. And why do you care about jerks’ opinions?
Along those lines, ask for help. People are used to strangers asking for help.
“What page are we on?” “Where do I find the prayer books?” These are normal questions. Never feel shame or embarrassment asking them.
I really like the definition for bravery that I learned from children’s books teaching my kids. “Bravery is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”
And if you join my mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com, you get free access to an entire Resource Library. And one of those resources is called “Jewish Enough,” and it’s a guide to getting over this imposter syndrome.
Because it never actually goes away. You just get a little better at managing it.
Five is related to imposter syndrome: it’s the perfectionist freeze.
This is one of the most common slowdowns in conversion.
It’s the belief that you need to be “ready” before you show up.
It sounds like, “I don’t wanna sound stupid.” ” I need to know Hebrew first.”
“I will wait until that class starts in four months.”
Here’s the truth.
If Judaism expected you to be an expert before you showed up, none of us would be Jewish. Jews just wouldn’t exist. Even those who are born into it had to learn.
Jewish life is learned by living it, so start messy. You will make mistakes, you will laugh about them later.
Waiting to feel ready keeps you stuck.
Showing up imperfectly is what moves you forward.
G-d put you in the life you’re in for a reason. There is a reason you’re a beginner, so take that journey.
Six is the opposite: overcommitting and burning out early.
We all wanna start at full speed: attending every class, attending every service, reading every book, signing up for every event, committing to every prayer.
Then we hit a wall.
This happens because the early adrenaline is super real. You wanna prove you’re serious and everything feels urgent, which is probably why you clicked on this video.
But the result is always the same: exhaustion, guilt, and then months of inactivity. If you go back at all.
Here’s the fix. Pick a pace you can sustain.
That’s how you make progress: slowly, steadily, with support, and without setting yourself on fire.
Believe me, I am the president of the Setting Myself on Fire Club. It sucks. And it’s not sustainable. It doesn’t work.
Burnout delays you more than doing less ever will.
Or you’ve visited a few synagogues and now you’re overthinking which one is “the one” instead of going with the best, imperfect choice. But you can make the best guess you can with the information you have now. Honestly, just pick one.
You can always change your mind later.
But on the flip side, it’s also a problem when people stay in a community too long that is a bad fit because you don’t wanna start over. You’re rarely “starting over.”
You carry all that former experience and knowledge with you. And that’s why I recommended the Jewish Experience Tracker that’s linked down in the description below.
Because it helps you keep track of those experiences and that knowledge you gain so that you can prove that to the next rabbi who needs to hear it.
Seven: Reading slow rabbi replies as rejection instead of rabbis just being busy humans.
It’s rarely personal.
They’re dealing with hospital visits, funerals, their kids’ dentist appointments.
They likely even have a day job.
Whatever negative reactions you’re getting from a rabbi are more likely explained by them being stressed out.
Don’t take it personally until it’s clear it’s personal.
Your brain will try to convince you that it is personal, but most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and their own minds.
And eight, avoiding community events because it’s awkward, or intimidating, or because it’s not your social scene, which is usually generational differences.
Give people a chance. You might be surprised.
And cross-reference all that stuff that I said about not taking stuff personally and dealing with imposter syndrome.
That was a long list. But none of these are deal breakers. They’re just bumps in the road. Expect them and they won’t derail your journey. Because believe me, you are going to tackle at least several of those, if not all of them.
It helps to notice the small, consistent steps that you’re taking to building this new Jewish life, especially when the journey feels slow or messy.
So let’s look to the future a bit.
What does it mean to say you’re “ready” for conversion? What exactly are you working toward?
As you get closer to the Beit Din, that rabbinical court that decides whether to convert you or not, it’s easy for the self-doubt to slip in.
You don’t need to know everything, and you don’t need to have every ritual memorized. Why do you think we have so many prayer books that write down all the prayers and rituals? People forget even if they’ve done this a lifetime.
They’re looking to see whether you’ve built a functional Jewish life.
These rabbis are looking for consistency: showing up over time.
Emotional honesty: naming what’s been meaningful and hard.
These show that you’re prepared for the inevitable challenges that will happen throughout your Jewish life.
A community connection: real relationships.
And basic Jewish literacy. What is defined as “basic” differs depending on which movement you’re converting with. But no one expects you to be a master. Are you a functional Jewish adult? That is the question they’re asking. It’s just as important to admit you don’t know and know where to look it up.
Feeling nervous or self-doubt during this process is perfectly normal, and in fact, I think it should be expected.
If anything, I think you should have doubt. It shows you understand how serious this is.
And a healthy understanding that you don’t know everything.
The people who are too confident are the ones I worry about.
What are they gonna do when they run into challenges?
The key is avoiding both extremes: not rushing in before you’re ready, but also not waiting so long that fear keeps you frozen.
Readiness isn’t a feeling. It’s a pattern.
So where does this leave you? What are your next steps?
I want you to do four things.
Choose one learning rhythm. Even 20 minutes a week, a chapter or two in a book, makes a difference.
Two, choose a prayer practice. Pick one prayer and start there.
Make it a habit. Then add a second one. Don’t take on too much at once.
Three. Choose a home practice to start or strengthen.
Generally I would suggest doing something related to Shabbat. ’cause it comes every week. You have lots of opportunity to practice.
And another free resource I have in that Resource Library at Building a Jewish Life.com is the Shabbat Menu. It gives you lots of small practices and small steps that you can take towards Shabbat observance. It’s a menu. Pretty self-explanatory, right?
And four, choose one community action to take. Visit a service, attend an event, especially right now it’s Hanukkah time. There’s lots of Hanukkah community events. You will never have so many Jewish events as you do right now.
Or if you’re ready, email that rabbi. Pull the bandaid off and get it over with.
Your job isn’t to do everything, but it is to do something.
Just do the next right step, and if you’re not sure what that is, just pick one. Moving forward is all that matters.
So as you work toward that conversion this year, remember that I want you tracking all the things you do. Whether or not you download the Jewish Experience Tracker, I want you to make a Jewish Jewish Experience Tracker for yourself so that you can keep track of these things. That allows you to celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but also allows you to show a rabbi what you’ve been doing.
If this video was helpful, it’d be great if you boop the like button and hit subscribe.
This channel is here to give you clarity and confidence.
I make the videos and blog posts that I wish I had had when I was in your shoes.
And if you’re ready for deeper support, community, and structure, you’re always welcome to join Bayit Builders, my membership for seekers who are building a meaningful Jewish life.
The door is only open three times a year, and your next chance is January 11th through the 15th, 2026.
I hope you all have a meaningful and warm Hanukkah. Chag sameach!