The first year of building a Jewish life can feel overwhelming – especially if you’re converting, returning, or starting from scratch. Many people burn out not because they’re doing it wrong, but because committing these common mistakes.
This short piece walks through what not to do in your first year, and why Jewish life is meant to be built slowly, relationally, and in rhythms you can actually sustain.
If you’re looking for guidance, community, and a slower, more sustainable way to build Jewish life, Bayit Builders may be a good fit. Doors open to new members January 11–15, 2026. Learn more or join the waitlist here.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
What not to do in your first year of Jewish practice, especially if you’re converting. returning, or building a Jewish life from scratch. Please don’t learn this the hard way.
First, don’t try to do everything at once.
Judaism isn’t a checklist, it’s a rhythm.
Second, don’t copy someone else’s practice and assume it’s the standard.
What works for their life, health, community and family might not work for yours.
Judaism has a lot of communities, even within the Orthodox, and practices vary wildly between them.
Nothing you see is standard because there is always people who do it differently.
Third, don’t mistake intensity for commitment.
Burning out doesn’t make you more serious.
It just makes you exhausted and makes you quit.
It makes you say, “clearly I’m not cut out for this.”
Build slower, build stronger.
Small, consistent practices are how you build growth. And consistency is really in how many times you get back on the wagon, not how many times you fall off.
And finally, five. Don’t build Jewish life alone if you don’t have to.
Isolation makes everything feel heavier and harder than it has to be.
Maybe you don’t have a synagogue yet. That doesn’t mean you can’t still build a community.
In general, your first year isn’t about mastery. Spoiler alert, you’re not gonna master anything in a year.
It’s about orientation.
Learning to come back after you mess up.
And building something you can actually sustain long term. This is a lifetime project.
And that’s exactly what my membership Bayit Builders is for: support, structure, and realistic rhythms for people building a Jewish life.
Doors open to new members January 11th through the 15th, 2026. You can find more or join the wait list at Building a Jewish Life.com/membership.
