Feeling “behind” is one of the most common – and most painful – experiences people have during Jewish conversion. It often comes from the sense that everyone else knows the timeline, the rules, or the pace, and you somehow missed the memo.
But Jewish conversion doesn’t move in straight lines. It starts and stops. It speeds up, slows down, pauses for life, and then suddenly picks up again. Feeling behind usually isn’t a sign that you’re failing – it’s a sign that you’re in a real, human process.
In this video, I talk about why conversion feels non-linear, why comparison makes it worse, and what actually matters when you’re building a Jewish life over time.
If you want structure, perspective, and support while you’re building Jewish life at your own pace, Bayit Builders is opening to new members January 11–15. You can learn more or join the wait list here.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
If you feel behind in your Jewish conversion, watch this.
A lot of people who are converting feels like there’s some secret timeline that everyone else is keeping up with and they’re falling behind.
There isn’t. Conversion isn’t a race, and more importantly, it’s not very linear.
It moves and starts and stops. Sometimes there’s U-turns.
Stretches of growth and stretches of waiting.
Periods when it feels like nothing happens, and then all of a sudden bam, bam, bam, so much happens all at once.
Feeling behind usually doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Some people move quickly through learning, and wait longer for community building.
Some build practices first, and formal learning comes later.
Some learn for years before ever calling a rabbi.
Some have pauses for work, health, family, or financial reasons.
That doesn’t make your conversion weaker. It makes it real.
What matters isn’t speed. Even though we really want speed.
It’s direction. Consistency, specifically the consistency of how many times do you get back on the wagon after you fall off (not how many times you fall off the wagon). And showing up honestly to the process that you are in.
There’s a phrase that I learned when I was parenting little kids: eyes on your own plate.
Don’t compare your experience to someone else’s. It’s apples and oranges.
Are you moving faster or slower based on where you could be, realistically? That’s the question.
If you want more of that structure and perspective, my membership Bayit Builders is opening up to new members January 11th through the 15th.
You can learn more or join the wait list at Building a Jewish Life.com/membership.
