There’s a belief I see all the time in the conversion world, and it sounds like this:
“If my conversion feels hurtful – and I’m still going – then I must really be serious.”
As if the fact that you’re enduring confusion, dismissal, silence, or shame is proof of your sincerity. As if staying while it stings is what makes it authentic.
That belief is dangerous.
Yes, conversion is a major life change. It will stretch you. It will challenge you. But ongoing hurt is not a badge of honor. Confusion is not a test of worth. And emotional pain is not evidence of spiritual depth.
When pain becomes the metric of seriousness, people override their instincts. They normalize things they would never advise a friend to accept. They assume that if it feels crushing, it must be holy.
It isn’t.
Jewish conversion should grow you – not grind you down. Commitment is about covenant, not self-erasure. And you do not have to bleed to prove you belong.
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Transcript below.
Transcript:
If I could crawl into your head and delete one belief about Jewish conversion, it would be the belief that if it hurts, they must be serious.
Difficulty is part of any major life change. Jewish conversion is no exception.
But confusion, silence, and shame are not good spiritual tools.
When pain becomes the metric of seriousness, people stop listening to themselves. And they start enduring things that no person should.
Jewish conversion isn’t meant to crush you. It should expand you.
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