If you’re converting to Judaism, sooner or later this question shows up:
“Do I have to tell my parents?”
And it usually comes wrapped in guilt.
Judaism values honoring your father and mother. So it can feel like keeping your conversion private – even temporarily – is dishonest or disrespectful.
But this isn’t a simple moral equation.
There is no halachic (Jewish law) requirement to announce your exploration immediately. This isn’t about secrecy. It’s about safety, timing, clarity, and emotional capacity. Telling your parents too early can shift pressure onto you before you’re grounded enough to carry it.
Conversion is a serious, life-shaping choice. You’re allowed to move through it with wisdom.
Before you decide when – or whether – to tell them, here are a few grounding questions to ask yourself.
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Transcript below.
Transcript:
Should you tell your parents that you’re converting to Judaism?
The honest answer is, it depends.
Yes, Judaism values honoring your father and mother.
But there is no requirement to tell your parents immediately or ever. This isn’t about secrecy, it’s about safety, timing, and emotional capacity.
Here are a few grounding questions to ask yourself first. Is it safe? Emotionally, financially, or relationally?
If telling them would put you at risk, you’re allowed to wait.
Are you clear enough to explain it? Early in the process, you may not have the language for this yet. You may not really understand what you want out of this process.
You don’t owe anyone answers you don’t have.
Are you telling them for support or to relieve pressure?
Telling too early often shifts their anxiety onto you before you’re ready to carry it.
It’s a mitzvah to honor your parents, but it doesn’t require self-harm, panic, or premature disclosure.
You’re allowed to move at a pace that protects your future Jewish life. Timing is a key part of wisdom. If you like this, follow for more.
