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Screenshot from posted video with picture of female author with captioned text saying, “They hold your future in their hands. If you are”

When Gatekeeping Becomes Dangerous: Sexual Harassment in the Jewish Conversion Process

“Sexual harassment and abuse can and do happen during the Jewish conversion process – and we need to talk about it.” That’s the heart of this video. It’s not just a one-off scandal or a bad-apple rabbi. It’s a systemic vulnerability created by intense power imbalances, isolation, and a gatekeeping structure where one person’s word […]

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Shidduchim and Nose Jobs

I have a well-documented enjoyment of the Groggers. They released a new song on Valentine’s Day, and I wasn’t planning to comment on it. It’s the first song off their upcoming (as yet unnamed, apparently) album: Jewcan Sam (A Nose Job Love Song). As always, power pop/punk combined with satire makes me happy. But I don’t

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Why Not Be a Noachide?

Born Jews are very quick to throw out the advice that a conversion candidate should “try being a Noachide!” They’re very enthusiastic about this, but I find that they rarely know what it entails, much less what it is really like to be a Noachide. Most can’t even name the seven laws. Yet they are

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Should You Make Up a “Jew-y” Name for Yourself?

Disclaimer: All names in this post are completely made up (and often from random name generators). If I happened to accidentally choose your name, I apologize. Well, except for the famous names. I just felt like using those. It’s very common for converts to take on a Hebrew name as their “everyday” name, even if

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How to Choose a Waiting Time Between Meat and Milk

In short: Just pick one. Your options: A full 6 hours 5 hours and one minute 3 hours 1 hour (Almost no one does this, and you better be able to say you’re Dutch or in a Dutch community. I have a Dutch name, I really should have considered this option.) I believe there is

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My Conversion Is Complete

I debated on if/when/how to write about this on the blog. My conversion was finalized on Jan 12, and I’m very happy with the conversion experience. It had its difficulties early on, but a new location and new rabbis gave me a conversion that was as respectful and as painless as a conversion can be. 

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How to Prepare for Your First Beit Din Meeting

You finally have a date with your full beit din! Yay! …Now what? Whatever you do, don’t panic. Google “how to cope with stress” if you need tips on how to keep your calm over the next few days or weeks. Nervousness will trip you up in the meeting and make you forget basic facts.

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Adventures in Machmir Dating

Today, just a funny quote from a singles event that was advertised on Facebook: “This is a Machmir event for Machmir Singles, Ages: Guys 24-32 and Girls 23-28, FREE for Full time learners & Rabbinical Students.”  Who knew I lost Ladies’ Night privileges when I became all machmir? Also, can it really be that machmir

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Convert Questions: Is Conversion Faster If You Have a Prior Conversion?

Many conversion candidates believe that a prior conversion will speed up the time of a second conversion. (If you are in the unlucky group that gets to 3+ conversions, you’re more likely in the territory of geirus l’chumrah than “normal” geirus.) After all, it makes sense: you’ve already “cast your lot with the Jewish people,”

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Why Insincere Conversion Candidates Matter

GIANT IMPORTANT POINT: This issue can approach a fine line between protecting the community and bullying. Before you accuse someone (to their face in private or to a rabbi in private) of being an insincere conversion candidate, CAREFULLY consider your motives for doing so, your options for action, and how your actions will affect the

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