good advice - Building a Jewish Life

What to Wear for Your First Beit Din Meeting

You’ve got your first meeting with the beit din (or the head of the beit din)! Yay! So what do you wear? In general, you should dress very conservatively, even if it is not what you would wear on a daily basis. This is not dishonest, it is respectful. You would dress more formally to […]

Maintaining Tznius at a Public Laundromat

When you’re dressing tznius, the public laundromat can make you a nervous wreck. But if you’re at the public laundromat, you don’t have a more private alternative for washing your “unmentionables.” So how can you make the best of a less-than-ideal situation? Sure, you could handwash everything “private” at home and save the outerwear for […]

Word of the Day: Gemach

Gemachs usually enter the average convert’s mind when they have an upcoming marriage. Whether bride or groom, you will get an earful about gemachs. The word gemach is an acronym for “gemilut chasadim,” acts of kindness. The traditional gemach fund is a free-loan organization. But we don’t refer to those as “gemachs” anymore (or at least […]

After Conversion, What Do You Do Now?

A very wise rabbi once told me that a common problem with converts is that they fail to realize “there’s no there there.” The day of your conversion isn’t really a destination. I’ve spent well over a year thinking about that phrase, trying to decide how I interpret it. I think I like the journey […]

Should You Change or Add to Your Hebrew Name When You Have a Second Conversion?

I find it interesting that Hebrew names is the #1 topic that brings people to this blog through search engines. I wonder where all this interest in names comes from! Based on the search terms themselves, it appears to be adults choosing a name for themselves, rather than parents naming a baby. Well, this week’s […]

Word of the Day: Bentchophobia

Let’s be honest. For the new-to-Hebrew person, bentching takes a really long time, even in English or transliterated Hebrew. It feels like everyone else at the table is finished in 45 seconds flat (and yes, some of them did do it that fast, but it’s debatable whether it was words or one big slurred sound). […]

How to Make Tea on Shabbat

The “tea question” seems to be a common one, according to the grapevine and my own experience. Thankfully, it’s a question that all the authorities seem to agree on. It encapsulates a key principle of the laws of Shabbat (and that’s probably why it’s such a common question): What makes something not cooking on Shabbat? The set-up: […]

Converts and Birthright

If you’re young enough, every conversion candidate thinks about the possibility of going on Birthright. I went on Birthright after my conservative conversion, but I was on a trip organized by an orthodox organization and the specific trip was actually labeled as “modern orthodox.” I think that effectively just meant that the trip was shomer […]

UPDATED: Adventures in Semantics: Hashkafah, Hashgacha, Haskalah

Personally, my biggest tongue-twister is hashkafah and hashgacha. My brain consistently combines the two into a nonsense word: hashgafa. Hashkafah: Worldview. It generally refers to your “brand” of halacha and Jewish living. Modern orthodox, yeshivish, Satmar, etc. Hashgacha: The kosher certification of a restaurant. It’ll be evidenced by a little sign in the window, which […]

The Blessing for Children

There is a traditional bracha for children, separate from the blessings affiliated with circumcision, pidyon haben, a girl’s naming, and the various ceremonies being created to celebrate the birth of a daughter. The blessing is three-fold and can be worded in many ways. That the child should be blessed with… Torah Chuppah Ma’asim Tovim Torah […]