Thanks to the ever-helpful Lifehacker blog, I came across this Psychology Today article: Are You Teaching People to Treat You Badly? Essentially, a psychological theory says that if you don’t “punish” people who treat you badly, they become conditioned to treating you badly. They think it’s ok to treat you badly. As a dog trainer, this is […]
Does the Squeaky Wheel Get the Grease? Read Post »
On another occasion it happened that a certain conversion candidate came before a rabbi and said to him, “Make me tznius in a New York City winter, on condition that you teach me all your fashion secrets while I stand on one foot.” Thereupon he repulsed her with the builder’s cubit which was in his
Tznius Women and Winter Weather Read Post »
There is a lesson that many conversion candidates and newly religious Jews are not told until they’ve made a fool of themselves: There are different interpretations of halacha, and it’s possible for all these interpretations to be halachically valid and accepted. In other words, the modern orthodox, the “just plain orthodox,” the chassidim, and the
Lessons from Hillel: There Is Generally No One “Right” Way in Halacha Read Post »
Many conversion candidates believe that a prior conversion will speed up the time of a second conversion. (If you are in the unlucky group that gets to 3+ conversions, you’re more likely in the territory of geirus l’chumrah than “normal” geirus.) After all, it makes sense: you’ve already “cast your lot with the Jewish people,”
Convert Questions: Is Conversion Faster If You Have a Prior Conversion? Read Post »
People are both pleased and dismayed by the “streamlining” of orthodox conversion since 2006. Some believe it standardizes the process and releases “regular” rabbis from dealing with conversion issues (which your average rabbi is not well-versed in). Others feel that American rabbis capitulated to the Israeli Rabbinate and that the process invites abuse by concentrating
Conversion from the Rabbi’s Perspective Read Post »
Many converts want to live in peace with their Jewish history unquestioned. For converts able to physically “pass” (aka, those who are white or Middle Eastern or otherwise of “vague” ethnicity), it’s easier to blend into the born-Jewish community. However, even the most “Jewy-looking” convert can be “outed” by Jewish geography. Even if you are
How Jewish Geography Will Trap You Read Post »
There is a mitzvah to make a mitzvah beautiful or otherwise enhance the mitzvah beyond the demands of the halacha through aesthetics. Generally, it refers to the beauty of a physical ritual object. The source for hiddur mitzvah is Exodus/Shmot 15:2 “This is my God, and I will glorify Him.” Many mitzvot require a physical
Phrase of the Day: Hiddur Mitzvah Read Post »
A conversion takes a lot of time. More than you ever expect it will. There is a lot to learn, and the frustrating thing is that there is always more to know. You will be learning Judaism until the day you die, and you will always find something new. It’s frustrating to realize how much
Working Towards Conversion: Set Aside Regular Time to Study Read Post »
Ladies, we’re in luck this fall/winter! Frum is fabulous this year, continuing the modest fashion trends that dominated the stores this spring/summer. Nordstrom and Lane Bryant have advertised their modest skirts as fashion trends already, and Nordstrom has also advertised many modest or easily-made-modest tops. (Remember to check out Nordstrom Rack for the outlet experience!)
Frum and Fabulous: The New Fall Lines Are Out! Read Post »
The Amidah (also known as the shemoneh esrei) is the high point of the prayer services. This is the long, silent prayer where you see all the rocking. Except for the maariv service and any time there is not a minyan, the Amidah is repeated by the chazzan after (most of) the congregation has finished
What to Do During the Amidah/Shemoneh Esrei Read Post »