Ilan passed a week ago tonight, and this has been the hardest week of my life. In addition to the obvious, there have been other serious issues in my life this week, all conspiring to give me panic attacks. Thankfully, and much to my surprise, I have handled the anxiety, anger, hurt, frustration, pain, etc, in […]
Baruch Dayan HaEmet: Ilan Tokayer
Another friend of Ilan has written about his feelings of loss for Ilan here. Having heard so many stories over Shabbos about this New Zealander rabbinical student, I thought it might be healthy for me to follow his example. However, he wrote about the wonderful qualities of Ilan. For me, I think I need to […]
When You NEED to Reveal Your Conversion Candidate Status
You may have previously read When Is It OK to Say “I’m Jewish,” Even If You Really Aren’t. But what about the other side? When MUST you disclose your in-flux status, even if you really don’t want to? I make no promises that this list is exhaustive, but I will update it if other important […]
The Monster that Orthodox Conversion Has Become
You’ve already heard that conversion is like falling in love. But you may not know that getting an orthodox conversion can sometimes be like an abusive relationship. In a cosmic sign that I can’t escape this topic this week, Frum Satire posted yesterday “Stop Screwing with the Converts Already!“ The world Jewish community and Jewish […]
Action-Based Mitzvot and Ethical Mitzvot
I had a hard time deciding how to title this post. You can group mitzvos in any number of ways, but here I want to focus on 1) mitzvot that are primarily actions and 2) mitzvot that are primarily ethical (I also like calling them interpersonal). We each have a preference or one group that […]
UPDATED: The Factors to Consider When Choosing to Convert
According to me, there are three major considerations when choosing where/how to convert. These three guideposts should help you decide a) the movement you want to convert with and then b) the community/rabbi/beit din you want to convert with. a) How you feel about your conversion. At the end of the day, this should be […]
Convert Rants: Discouraging the Conversion Candidate
Everyone hears that a rabbi “has” to discourage a conversion candidate 3 times. Some rabbis don’t hold by that at all. Some do exactly three and then will begin a congenial conversion learning process. Some may or may not obviously discourage before working with you, but will continue to discourage you regularly and to varying […]
Halacha in a Nutshell: Lashon Hara
Halacha in a Nutshell is a new series that does not aim to actually teach you halacha. The goal is to acquaint you with the general ideas of a halachic issue so that you can follow conversations without looking like a total n00b. Loshon hara literally means “evil tongue/speech.” It’s usually translated as “gossip,” but […]
Thought of the Day
For your (hopefully) lazy Sunday enjoyment, here is a great quote I heard in a recorded shiur a few weeks ago while driving cross-country. Unfortunately, I don’t remember which shiur it came from! Since I listened to over 30 hours of them, I’m not going to go through all of them to locate two sentences. […]
Shabbat Shalom! What to Do When People Are Crazy
Some people might think this is a downer of a Shabbat shalom post, but it was certainly liberating for me! Quite simply, other people’s problems are just that: other people’s problems. I don’t worry about people who don’t follow halacha (or follow it differently) or judge me as a convert or any of that other […]