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Signs You’ve Made It: Nightmares

Nightmares are probably the strangest sign that you’ve really cast your lot with the Jewish people. But they seem to be universal: everyone begins to have nightmares about Nazis, the Holocaust, or other anti-Semitism. [I don’t think anyone dreams about the Cossacks.] It seems unavoidable. Interestingly (and in my totally unscientific opinion), I believe it’s one of […]

Do You Have an Adequate Support System?

Just as there are many baalei teshuva who read this blog, there are many conversion candidates reading Beyond Teshuva, a blog created for BTs. [Grammar note: notice that the plural of BTs is not BT’s. That’s your dose of my crazy for the day.] Last week, Beyond Teshuva had a great breakdown of the kinds […]

Does the Squeaky Wheel Get the Grease?

Thanks to the ever-helpful Lifehacker blog, I came across this Psychology Today article: Are You Teaching People to Treat You Badly? Essentially, a psychological theory says that if you don’t “punish” people who treat you badly, they become conditioned to treating you badly. They think it’s ok to treat you badly. As a dog trainer, this is […]

Lessons from Hillel: There Is Generally No One “Right” Way in Halacha

There is a lesson that many conversion candidates and newly religious Jews are not told until they’ve made a fool of themselves: There are different interpretations of halacha, and it’s possible for all these interpretations to be halachically valid and accepted. In other words, the modern orthodox, the “just plain orthodox,” the chassidim, and the […]

Phrase of the Day: Being “Religious”

I’ve written before that I don’t like the phrase “religious Jews.” Now I have a better explanation for it, thanks to Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. I’m still looking for a better phrase if you have one! Rabbi Telushkin sums up the situation very well in Hillel: If Not Now, When?: …[I[f two Jews are speaking about […]

Conversion from the Rabbi’s Perspective

People are both pleased and dismayed by the “streamlining” of orthodox conversion since 2006. Some believe it standardizes the process and releases “regular” rabbis from dealing with conversion issues (which your average rabbi is not well-versed in). Others feel that American rabbis capitulated to the Israeli Rabbinate and that the process invites abuse by concentrating […]

Conversion Special Cases: Converting with Children from a Prior Relationship

This post is going to be a cross-over between my two main “specialties”: conversion issues and law.  NOTE: I am not a family lawyer, but I did work in a family law office as a student for half of law school. While I loved working in family law, I don’t plan to practice family law […]

Why Insincere Conversion Candidates Matter

GIANT IMPORTANT POINT: This issue can approach a fine line between protecting the community and bullying. Before you accuse someone (to their face in private or to a rabbi in private) of being an insincere conversion candidate, CAREFULLY consider your motives for doing so, your options for action, and how your actions will affect the […]