In short: Just pick one. Your options: A full 6 hours 5 hours and one minute 3 hours 1 hour (Almost no one does this, and you better be able to say you’re Dutch or in a Dutch community. I have a Dutch name, I really should have considered this option.) I believe there is […]
How to Choose a Waiting Time Between Meat and Milk Read Post »
A very wise rabbi once told me that a common problem with converts is that they fail to realize “there’s no there there.” The day of your conversion isn’t really a destination. I’ve spent well over a year thinking about that phrase, trying to decide how I interpret it. I think I like the journey
After Conversion, What Do You Do Now? Read Post »
At maariv on Shabbat (Friday night), you’ll often hear an announcement of the times for the “hashkamah minyan” and “shacharis.” But what would come before shachrit, the morning service?? It’s a trick question. They’re both minyanim for shacharis. Hashkama is just the “early” minyan, usually around 6 or 7am. There are several reasons why someone
Phrase of the Day: Hashkama Minyan Read Post »
You finally have a date with your full beit din! Yay! …Now what? Whatever you do, don’t panic. Google “how to cope with stress” if you need tips on how to keep your calm over the next few days or weeks. Nervousness will trip you up in the meeting and make you forget basic facts.
How to Prepare for Your First Beit Din Meeting Read Post »
I’ve been trying to decide how to approach the Chabad question for several months. It is definitely an issue that needs to be addressed for conversion candidates because many discover Judaism through local Chabad houses. However, it is difficult to handle a controversy fairly and without making too many people angry! I am not Chabad,
Controversies You Should Understand: Chabad Conversions Read Post »
Nightmares are probably the strangest sign that you’ve really cast your lot with the Jewish people. But they seem to be universal: everyone begins to have nightmares about Nazis, the Holocaust, or other anti-Semitism. [I don’t think anyone dreams about the Cossacks.] It seems unavoidable. Interestingly (and in my totally unscientific opinion), I believe it’s one of
Signs You’ve Made It: Nightmares Read Post »
Just as there are many baalei teshuva who read this blog, there are many conversion candidates reading Beyond Teshuva, a blog created for BTs. [Grammar note: notice that the plural of BTs is not BT’s. That’s your dose of my crazy for the day.] Last week, Beyond Teshuva had a great breakdown of the kinds
Do You Have an Adequate Support System? Read Post »
Thanks to the ever-helpful Lifehacker blog, I came across this Psychology Today article: Are You Teaching People to Treat You Badly? Essentially, a psychological theory says that if you don’t “punish” people who treat you badly, they become conditioned to treating you badly. They think it’s ok to treat you badly. As a dog trainer, this is
Does the Squeaky Wheel Get the Grease? Read Post »
There is a lesson that many conversion candidates and newly religious Jews are not told until they’ve made a fool of themselves: There are different interpretations of halacha, and it’s possible for all these interpretations to be halachically valid and accepted. In other words, the modern orthodox, the “just plain orthodox,” the chassidim, and the
Lessons from Hillel: There Is Generally No One “Right” Way in Halacha Read Post »
I’ve written before that I don’t like the phrase “religious Jews.” Now I have a better explanation for it, thanks to Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. I’m still looking for a better phrase if you have one! Rabbi Telushkin sums up the situation very well in Hillel: If Not Now, When?: …[I[f two Jews are speaking about
Phrase of the Day: Being “Religious” Read Post »