If you’re considering converting to Judaism, you’ve probably heard this at least once: “A rabbi has to reject you three times.” Sometimes it’s said gently. Sometimes it’s said like a warning. And sometimes it’s used to justify confusion, silence, or treatment that feels more like humiliation than discernment. But here’s the truth: Judaism does not […]
Are Rabbis Really Required to Reject a Potential Convert 3 Times? Read Post »
If you’re converting to Judaism, sooner or later this question shows up: “Do I have to tell my parents?” And it usually comes wrapped in guilt. Judaism values honoring your father and mother. So it can feel like keeping your conversion private – even temporarily – is dishonest or disrespectful. But this isn’t a simple
When Do You Tell Your Parents You’re Converting to Judaism? Read Post »
If you’ve ever typed “How do I convert to Judaism?” into Google at 2 AM, you already know how vague the answers can feel. You’ll find opinions. You’ll find arguments. You’ll find people telling you to just “follow your heart.” What you won’t always find are clear, grounded, real-world steps. Conversion isn’t vibes. It isn’t
The First 3 Steps of Converting to Judaism (From Someone Who’s Been There) Read Post »
There’s a belief I see all the time in the conversion world, and it sounds like this: “If my conversion feels hurtful – and I’m still going – then I must really be serious.” As if the fact that you’re enduring confusion, dismissal, silence, or shame is proof of your sincerity. As if staying while
This Jewish Conversion Red Flag Gets Ignored Read Post »
If you’re converting or exploring Judaism, there are going to be words you hear that feel insider-y. Cultural. Maybe even funny. And when you’re new, it can be tempting to use those words about yourself – especially if you’re trying to signal humility or show that you “get it.” But some words carry history that
“Nobody Wants This” Normalized Something Dangerous Read Post »
Walking into your first Shabbat dinner in an observant home can feel like stepping into a room where everyone else got the handbook and you didn’t. You might be wondering what to wear, whether you’re going to accidentally break some important rule, or if there’s a secret rulebook you somehow missed. It’s easy to assume
The Unwritten Rules of Being a Shabbat Guest Read Post »
There’s a quiet myth embedded in Jewish conversion culture: that serious people feel sure. If you doubt, pause, or step away, the story goes, you must not be ready – or worse, not sincere. But in real life, doubt is often a sign that someone is taking the process seriously, not avoiding it. Before I
The Scariest Part of Jewish Conversion No One Warns You About Read Post »
If Jewish learning feels overwhelming, scattered, or like everything is urgent all at once, you’re not alone – and you’re not doing anything wrong. Most people don’t struggle with Jewish study because they lack motivation or discipline. They struggle because no one ever explained how Jewish learning is structured, how different areas fit together, or
How to Study Judaism Without Burning Yourself Out Read Post »
Most Jewish converts don’t get “outed” by a rude question. They get outed by ordinary conversation. If you’ve ever found yourself frozen mid–small talk, suddenly aware that the next question will push you into sharing something private you didn’t plan to explain, you already know how this happens. Jewish geography – the well-meaning, mildly competitive
The Social Game Every Jewish Convert Eventually Loses Read Post »
Jewish conversion can be hard in ways that are normal and meaningful. Learning new rhythms, changing habits, and showing up consistently often feels uncomfortable, but still purposeful. But not all difficulty is the same. Some experiences don’t build you – they wear you down. Confusion without explanation, constant anxiety, or feeling smaller over time aren’t
If Conversion Feels Like It’s Hurting Read Post »