Frequently Asked Questions
For Coaching & Consulting with Kochava
Who do you work with?
I work with conversion candidates at any stage of the process – from “just starting to explore” to “weeks from the mikvah.” I also work with newly-converted Jews navigating life post-mikvah, and occasionally with community leaders seeking to better support converts and conversion candidates.
Do you only work with Orthodox conversion candidates?
While much of my content is geared toward Orthodox conversion, I work with candidates from all movements. You’re welcome here, and I’ll tailor our work to your community’s specific expectations and halachic framework.
What if I’m not sure which movement I want to convert in?
That’s okay – you don’t have to have it all figured out right away. Many people start exploring without knowing exactly where they’ll land. It’s perfectly normal to need time to learn, experience different communities, and think through your values and needs. Part of the journey is getting clearer over time.
Am I too old / young / busy to do this?
No. There’s no perfect age, schedule, or life situation for conversion. People convert as teenagers, in retirement, while raising kids, while working full time, or juggling complicated lives. Jewish life is designed to be lived in real life, not in an ideal one. If you want to do this, you can – even if it takes some creativity and flexibility.
What if I feel behind compared to other candidates?
You’re not behind – you’re on your own timeline. It’s common to feel like everyone else knows more, has it more together, or is “further ahead,” but most of that is an illusion. Conversion isn’t a race. You don’t need to measure yourself against anyone else. What matters is that you keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Is it normal to struggle during conversion?
Absolutely. This process is beautiful, but it can also be overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional – even in the best-case scenario. And sometimes, it’s harder than it should be. Many candidates face gatekeeping, bullying, or even abusive behavior during their conversion journey. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing – it means you’re human, navigating a hard system. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it doesn’t disqualify you.
What should I bring to our session? Should I prepare anything?
Just yourself and anything you’d like to take notes with. If there’s something specific you’d like to work on – like a study guide, questions for your beit din, or personal notes – feel free to bring it, but it’s not required.
Is coaching only for people who already have it all figured out?
Nope. Coaching is especially helpful when you’re still figuring things out. You don’t have to be organized, polished, or even sure you want to finish conversion yet. If you’re somewhere on the path, you’re ready.
What if I don’t know what my beit din expects?
That’s extremely common! I can help you craft respectful questions to ask your rabbi or beit din, and help you interpret the answers so you can move forward with clarity.
Can you help me prepare for my beit din interview?
Absolutely. I offer mock interviews, review study guides, and help you organize your thoughts so you feel calm, confident, and prepared.
What if I don’t know enough Hebrew yet?
You don’t need to be fluent in Hebrew to convert or to work with me. Most batei din expect you to have basic prayer literacy – not mastery. For conversion, “fluency” usually means being able to physically read Hebrew letters (no translation required) and participate in Hebrew prayers, understand key blessings, and navigate a siddur comfortably.
What if I don’t have a Jewish partner or community?
You don’t need a Jewish partner to convert. And while community is important, that looks different for everyone. Some candidates are in vibrant, big communities, others are in tiny ones or working toward moving to a community. You’ll find your people – and I can help you think about how to nurture community connections at any stage of the process.
Judaism is, at its core, a communal tradition. Every Jewish movement expects candidates to engage with a physical Jewish community – not just online. This doesn’t mean you need a large or perfectly active community, but you do need one you can connect with regularly. Be cautious of anyone offering conversion without community involvement – this is a red flag. For some people, this requirement can be a challenge, but it’s a central part of Jewish life.
What if I feel stuck or like I’m not making progress?
You’re not alone – most candidates feel that way at some point. We can troubleshoot what’s blocking your progress, clarify what your next steps should be, and develop a realistic action plan so you can move forward at a pace that works for you.
What if I’m scared of meeting with a rabbi or beit din?
That fear is normal – and very common. These meetings can feel intimidating, especially when so much is riding on them. It’s okay to be nervous. My role is to help you prepare, know what to expect, and feel as calm and grounded as possible. Remember: you don’t have to be perfect – you just have to show up as yourself.
Is this therapy?
No. I’m not a licensed mental health professional. What I offer is practical guidance, education, and support based on lived experience and knowledge of the conversion process. (And even though I’m a lawyer, I also don’t give legal advice!)
What if I’m not sure I belong in Jewish life yet?
It’s okay to have doubts. Many people wrestle with belonging during conversion, especially in communities that aren’t always clear about expectations. You don’t have to have certainty today. My role is to help you navigate these questions with honesty and kindness.
What is a Support Circle?
A small, supportive group led by a facilitator (in this case, me) where conversion candidates or new Jews can share, process, and learn together. It’s not therapy, but it is a space for meaningful connection, guidance, and conversation.
How much does it cost?
Current rates are listed on the Work With Me page.
Do you offer 1-on-1 session packages?
Yes – I offer a 3-session package for those who want more ongoing support. If you’re interested in a larger package, I’m happy to discuss options and tailor something to fit your needs if you email BetzelemElokim@gmail.com.
Can I pay in installments?
At this time, I don’t have the capability to accept payments in installments. Payment is due in full at the time of booking.
How do I book a session?
Please see the Work With Me page.
Can I ask quick questions by email instead of booking a session?
If you have a quick yes/no logistical question, I’ll do my best to answer it. But for anything deeper, more personal, or that requires explanation, I ask that you book a session so we can give it the time and attention it deserves.
Is everything we talk about confidential?
Yes. Our sessions are a private and judgment-free space. You should never be afraid to be honest with me, share your doubts, or ask the questions you’re not “supposed” to ask. Everyone has doubts and everyone has questions, especially during difficult or emotional times.
Still have questions? Reach out via email at BetzelemElokim@gmail.com – I’m happy to help. 💙