If you’ve ever felt spiritually disconnected or like you’re mourning something you can’t quite name, welcome — you might already be tuned in to the energy of the Three Weeks, even if you didn’t have the words for it yet.
This stretch of the Jewish calendar, from the 17th of Tammuz to Tisha B’Av, holds space for heartbreak, history, and hope. But if you didn’t grow up with it — or you’re new to Judaism altogether — it can feel disorienting. Why are we mourning something that happened thousands of years ago? And do you even get to mourn it if you’re still converting or still figuring out where you belong in Jewish life?
This guide is for you. I’ll walk you through what the Three Weeks are, why they matter, and how you can start observing them in a way that feels grounded — not performative. You’ll also find some accessible ways to connect, reflect, and navigate this season with intention, even if you’re still learning.
And if you want extra support for making sense of the Jewish calendar and building a Jewish life that feels like yours, join my mailing list to get access to the free Resource Library — full of tools to help you feel less lost and more anchored.
Now let’s get into it.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
Understand one of the most soul-deep seasons of Jewish time.
One that holds space for heartbreak, history, and hope.
If you’ve ever felt spiritually out of place, disconnected,
or like you’re mourning something you can’t name, this one’s for you.
The Three Weeks and Tisha B’Av are about reflection, memory, and hope.
And I’ll walk you through what they are and why they matter.
Hey friends. I’m Kochava
Jewish convert, educator, and your internet cheerleader for building a meaningful Jewish life that works for you.
Want more support around the Jewish calendar? Get my free Resource Library by joining the mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com.
It’s full of tools to make you feel less lost and more grounded.
So let’s get started. What are the Three Weeks? They start on the 17th of the Jewish month of Tammuz, and it ends on Tisha B’Av, which is the ninth day of the Jewish month of Av.
This period marks the lead up to the destruction of both of the Jewish Temples in Jerusalem.
Yes. Both.
The walls of the second Beit HaMikdash were breached on the 17th of Tammuz. And both Temples were destroyed on the Ninth of Av It’s a time of collective grief and reflection
in the Jewish calendar.
This stretch of the Jewish calendar can feel disorienting, especially if you’re still learning.
Suddenly there’s talk of mourning and no music and no haircuts, broken walls, fast days.
you might wonder why are we mourning something from thousands of years ago? What does it have to do with me?
Do I even get to mourn something I wasn’t born into? Do I even have the right to be here?
Here’s the truth. You don’t have to have generational memory to share in Jewish pain
or hope.
These weeks are about recognizing brokenness in the world, in our communities, and in ourselves.
And that’s something every Jew or wannabe Jew can touch, including you.
You’re allowed to feel lost, weird, sad, moved, or nothing at all.
Sit with the feelings you have. Those are the right feelings for you today, this year. Next year will probably feel totally different.
So what do people do or more importantly, don’t do during this time? Not all communities observe the same customs. There’s a lot of overlap, but you should check with your own community to find out what you should do.
Some general things that you might see: no weddings, parties, live music, haircuts, bathing for pleasure.
We pay attention to grief, longing, injustice, and the patterns of history.
Gently pulling back from certain joys.
Not because fun is bad, but because we’re giving space for something heavier.
It’s a spiritual dimmer switch, not an off button.
If this is your first time observing this part of the Jewish calendar, what’s speaking to you? What’s confusing? Join the mailing list in the sidebar to your right for more grounded, honest support each week.
