When I was converting to Judaism, I wasn’t too worried about giving up Christmas.
But Halloween? Oh hell no.
But for years, I had a zero-tolerance policy. I was committed to my Jewish life, and that meant leaving Halloween behind… or so I thought.
Then I had kids. And suddenly, things weren’t so simple anymore.
Every fall, Jewish families — especially converts, interfaith couples, and parents in secular schools — find themselves asking the same question: Can Jews celebrate Halloween? And if not, what does that mean for our kids, our communities, and our sense of belonging?
In this video, I break down what Jewish law (halacha) actually says about Halloween, what different Jewish movements do in practice, and how to make an intentional, values-based choice that fits your life. Because this isn’t just about candy — it’s about identity, boundaries, and the ongoing work of building a Jewish life in a world that celebrates differently.
And here’s the question no one is asking and should: why so much fuss over Halloween as Avodah Zara (idolatry) but none over St. Valentine’s Day? Is it because they just hate fun?
Transcript below.
Transcript:
📍 When I was converting to Judaism, I wasn’t too worried about ditching Christmas. But Halloween? Oh hell no.
But I was committed to this Jewish thing, so I got rid of Halloween and I had a zero tolerance policy for it for many years. But then I had children. And things got a lot more complicated.
This question, “can Jews celebrate Halloween?” comes up every single year, and the same families are navigating it differently every year.
Especially if you’re also a convert or part of an interfaith family or just a Jewish parent raising kids in a secular community.
And it’s not a silly question.
Halloween isn’t just candy and costumes. It’s community, nostalgia, and joy.
But it also brings up that weird mix of feelings when you’re not part of the majority culture.
For Jews, especially those who are building a Jewish life from scratch, that can feel confusing, and there is no shortage of other people giving you their opinions on it.
You’re not weird or less Jewish for wondering how to handle October 31st.
There’s no judgment here. Just honest exploration from someone who is right there in the trenches with you.
In this video, I’m gonna break it down clearly: what Jewish law (Halacha) actually says about it, what different Jewish communities and movements do, and how you can make a decision that fits your Jewish life with confidence and intention.
Because this isn’t just about candy. I mean, come on. We enjoy the candy too, but it’s fundamentally about how we navigate identity, belonging, and boundaries in a world that celebrates differently than we do.
📍 Hi, I’m Kochava. As I said, I’m a Jewish convert, and I’ve been helping people convert to Judaism since 2010 through my blog, Building a Jewish Life.com.
I converted twice, first time conservative, and then later a stricter orthodox conversion.
And at first I struggled with the kneejerk assumption that of course I wouldn’t be celebrating Halloween anymore!
But the real world is more nuanced than what you’ll find in a Halacha book or people’s social media profiles.
And in a nutshell, that’s what I’ve been sharing on my blog for 15 years: how do real Jews live?
Why do I see someone doing X but saying Y?
What are all these unwritten social rules? Especially as someone who only later found out that they were neurodivergent.
So one of the most fraught situations, in my opinion, for American converts and conversion candidates is Halloween, where it’s very common to hear one thing and see another.
what your neighbors do, but would never post on social media because it “looks bad” or “might be misunderstood.”
Humans are complex creatures, and that’s true across all religions.
And before we get too deep in here, I wanna address the fact that a lot has changed since 2020.
The early years of Covid unleashed something in the American population and just let fandoms run wild. And I think it’s a good thing, and I am clearly a product of it. I’ve always been nerdy, but I’ve never been much of a fandom person. Now I am.
It allowed a lot of us to tap into hobbies and communities that we found a lot of joy in, and I find that that influences the Halloween debates a lot.
I am seeing a lot more Halloween observances, or I’m seeing a whole lot more fall or “spooky season” observances than I did in years before 2020.
So maybe this is you.
Maybe you’re in an interfaith relationship. Maybe you’re converting, maybe you’re not.
One partner grew up celebrating Halloween, the other didn’t. And quite frankly, it is complete chance which of those partners that will be. I have known a lot of people in interfaith relationships where it is the Jewish partner who is like hardcore gung-ho on Halloween, Christmas, all the secular American holidays.
So don’t make assumptions here.
Or maybe you’ve got relatives who host a big Halloween party.
Maybe you’ve got brothers and sisters and it’s been family tradition for all the kids to go trick or treating together.
Maybe your kids are in a public school or other non-Jewish school. Because I can tell you this question is so much easier if your kids are in a Jewish school. It just doesn’t come up. Whereas I’ve been homeschooling and my kids are in the school system for the first time this year, and they’re in a public school, and it is wild how much Halloween stuff that they are doing.
Given the wide variety of cultures we have, I really wouldn’t have expected so much emphasis on one type of cultural celebration.
We’ve got the “fall festival,” the Halloween party, the Halloween parade, Halloween dress up day, candy drive, Trunk or Treat, like the list just keeps going on. That is just off the top of my head.
And your kid doesn’t wanna feel left out, and I don’t blame them. And you don’t wanna feel like the Grinch of October.
Because again, it’s not actually about the candy. I mean for kids it’s very much also about the candy, but it’s also about your kid wondering why they’re the only one who doesn’t get to participate in this thing that everyone around them is telling them is super fun.
Suddenly, everything becomes a negotiation. Do you go? Do you stay home? Do you compromise?
Jewish law sometimes appears to have a clear answer. I would argue that Jewish answers are never clear. But real relationships are messy, which is why Jewish law is not really clear because we’re dealing with humans here. That is the theme of this YouTube channel is that humans are messy.
So I can speak from my experience that as a convert, I felt this tension in a huge way. I worked so hard to convert. Twice! I dealt with rabbinic bullies. I dealt with sexual harassment, and I still fought to convert.
I’m of the opinion that conversion is never a casual decision. I have never met a person who casually decided to convert.
And yet we know that no matter what, some people will always be questioning our dedication and questioning our loyalty to the Jewish people. There’s this unspoken pressure to be twice as good as everyone around you. Twice as careful, twice as observant, twice as good. Twice as good at hiding the parts where you’re not very good. Because we know people are watching and judging.
And unfortunately sometimes those judgments can ruin lives. So this isn’t a minor concern.
But at the same time, you’re probably also connected to non-Jewish family and friends or Jewish friends who aren’t as religious as you are, and they don’t understand why you stopped celebrating something that you all used to enjoy together.
And so it can feel like there is no good answer, and quite frankly, there’s not. I’m not gonna lie to you.
No matter what you do, someone is gonna think you made the wrong decision. And half the time, they will not be shy at telling you so.
Worse, a lot of us carry around a lot of religious trauma, from religions that we may have been exposed to before. In this case, usually Christianity.
For some, Halloween is tangled up with fear and superstition that we’re trying to leave behind.
For others, it’s filled with warmth and treasured memories. Family traditions, creative costumes, some of the best photos of your childhood. That feeling of community.
So you can end up grieving something you loved or avoiding something that triggers you. And second guessing yourself no matter what you choose. It’s a lot.
However you feel about the Halloween question, those feelings probably go much deeper than you realize.
I can only compare it to the complicated emotions around Christmas for most American and European converts. But with Christmas, there’s a far clearer answer and usually more of an emotional ability to pull back because it’s so connected to Christianity.
But Halloween is different. Halloween today is basically like a layer cake: ancient harvest festival, Christian holy days, folk superstitions, and modern commercial fun, all stacked together.
It started with harvest festivals in pre-Christian Europe. Later, the church layered on All Saints Day and All Souls Day, redirecting those older customs into remembering the dead and the saints.
Over time, folk traditions around ghosts, costumes, and warding off spirits grew up around it. And finally when those ideas came to America, they mixed with immigrant folklore and modern consumer culture.
It’s kind of like a cultural game of telephone. What started as a nature or spiritual ritual got passed around, watered down, and turned into candy companies, costumes, and neighborhood fun.
But that’s where Jewish law comes in. Because Halloween’s history is rooted in a Christian holiday. And, while there is also a pagan history, I just really haven’t seen rabbis make the argument that it’s a Pagan holiday, it’s always focused around the Christian history of the holiday. Some rabbis view participation in Halloween rituals as a problem under categories like Avodah Zara, which is worship of other gods.
And Chukah HaGoyim, imitating non-Jewish religious practices.
So when you hear someone say, “Jews shouldn’t celebrate Halloween,” that’s where that idea comes from.
It’s about that history.
And that mix is what makes it complicated for Jews today. Some parts of Halloween are clearly non-religious and cultural while others have distant religious roots.
That’s why Jewish law, Halakha, asks not just what you’re doing, but also why.
Which brings us to discussing Avodah Zara and Chukot HaGoyim.
If you’re new around here, welcome to my terrible Hebrew.
So Avodah Zara, it literally means foreign worship, and it’s usually translated as idolatry.
It literally means serving or worshiping someone other than Hashem, the Jewish G-d.
In Torah times, that meant actual idol worship: offerings, bowing, Temple service, the works.
Today, Halacha still applies it to anything with active religious participation in it.
In another face, worship, worship, blah, blah, blah, blah. In another faith’s worship or ritual life,
like attending a church service, praying to saints, using religious symbols as spiritual tools.
What it usually doesn’t cover anymore are practices that once had religious roots but no longer do.
Some examples include wedding rings, birthday candles, or saying the word “cheers!”
So that’s the rub: how are you defining the religious nature of Halloween?
Is trick or treating a form of worship or just cultural fun? Most people aren’t invoking saints or scaring away evil spirits- they’re just chasing a sugar rush.
That’s why the opinions split on whether Avodah Zara still applies.
Now, Chukot HaGoyim, the Customs of the Nations,
it comes from Leviticus (Vayikra) verse 18:3, translated, it means “do not follow their statutes.”
It was originally referring to not imitating religious practices or symbolic customs of surrounding cultures.
Basically very similar to the idea of Avodah Zara. But over time, the rabbis debated- “how far does it go?”
Does it mean no participation in any non-Jewish cultural event?
Is it limited just to those with religious or superstitious meaning?
Most modern rabbis agree that the key is context and intention.
If something’s meaning has generally changed, and your intent is social, not spiritual, they can argue that the religious quality has fallen away.
But if it still carries religious significance or blurs Jewish identity, many rabbis say not, and that’s the key because Chukot HaGoyim is a lot about assimilation and maintaining the borders of what does it mean to be Jewish.
We already borrow secular culture all the time. We use the Gregorian calendar for heaven’s sake.
Most Jews wear hairstyles similar to the people around them, and clothing similar to the people around them.
And no one calls those things Chukot HaGoyim, even though in past years, it might’ve been enforced as that.
Another example that I always love is celebrating birthdays. There is no Jewish custom for celebrating birthdays.
And I distinctly remember the first time I had a birthday while I was being Jewishly interested. I went to the Rabbi and I asked him what I should do Jewishly for my birthday. And you know what he told me? He told me to buy a lottery ticket! And I just could not. I was so shocked.
But I have heard essentially that same idea repeated again and again through the years.
So basically Judaism doesn’t say “never copy anything.”
It says “be thoughtful about what you’re copying and why.” And yes, this is extremely community specific. Once you get into the many micro worlds of the Orthodox, you will find many approaches to what counts as Chukat HaGoyim.
But the majority of Orthodox Jews in America are what’s called Modern Orthodox, and the whole premise of modern Orthodoxy is integrating into the modern society around you in a thoughtful way.
So that in short, is the entire video, but there’s a lot more going on.
This is why you’ll see some Jews saying, “we stay away from Halloween because of its origins.”
And you see others saying, “the meaning has changed over time, so the halacha doesn’t apply in the same way.”
And they are both opinions reached through Jewish law.
The closest analogy to Halloween might be Valentine’s Day. Again, obviously a religious origin. It’s right in the name.
But my Instagram feed tells me that a lot of Orthodox Jewish men buy roses for their wives on February 14th.
Why are we so much less conflicted over Valentine’s Day than we are Halloween? Probably it’s because it’s more fun and there are just some people in this world who don’t like fun.
So I think there is a wide range of halaka that people are missing when they discuss Halloween just in terms of Avodah Zara and Chukat HaGoyim. We’re always talking about what we are not to do.
But we also need to talk about what Judaism demands that we do do.
Because it’s not just about avoiding idolatry, it is also about living our Jewish values in the world around us.
The first Jewish value that applies here is Hachnasat Orchim, hospitality and welcoming others.
This is one of the oldest Jewish values.
Think of a Avraham running to greet strangers in the desert and having a tent that was open to all who came.
On Halloween, that can just look like greeting your neighbors kindly, complimenting them on their costume, maybe offering candy, or simply not being a jerk when people come to your door.
So for some people handing out candy perfectly fits the halacha of hospitality.
You’re keeping the peace and engaging in the community without actually celebrating the holiday yourself.
On Halloween, we can also be practicing Chesed, lovingkindness.
Even the smallest of gestures count. Smiling at the kids, being polite, not scolding someone for knocking because you forgot to turn off the porch light.
You can always uphold Chesed without compromising observance.
Another Jewish value is Simcha, joy. Judaism values joy and connection. You don’t have to spiritualize Halloween, but you can acknowledge the happiness that it brings to your friends and neighbors.
Participating in that community fun or creating your own traditions around the fall season honors Simcha in a very Jewish way.
Next we have Shalom Bayit, peace in the home.
If your spouse or kids wanna participate on Halloween differently than you do?
Shalom Bayit is a real halachic factor to be considered.
Many rabbis encourage finding compromises that keep the family harmony intact, usually playing the long game rather than getting a short term victory.
Whether that’s handing out candy, going on a walk together, wearing costumes around the house, or starting to plan for next Purim, which we’ll get into later.
This is because Jewish life is lived in real households, made of real human beings, not theoretical ones.
You gotta do what you can with what you got.
And then the last value that I think there is some recognition around, but we aren’t usually explicit about it, is Chilul Hashem versus a Kiddush Hashem.
And this is about reputation and the sanctification of G-d’s name.
It’s basically how we behave in public, rightly or wrongly, reflects on the entire Jewish community. No pressure.
Chilul Hashem means a desecration of G-d’s name.
Being rude or slamming the door can be a real Chilul Hashem.
And a Kiddush Hashem is a sanctification of God’s name.
It’s responding with kindness and politeness, even when you’re abstaining. You can say no to Halloween and still make a Kiddush Hashem while doing it.
So the takeaway here is that even when Halakha says, “maybe don’t,” halakha and Jewish values do also say, “be kind. Be joyful. Be peaceful, and represent your people well.”
So now we come to Purim. The standard response when you don’t celebrate Halloween and someone starts asking you about it, is to start talking about how Jews already have a “Jewish Halloween,” Purim in the spring.
That’s when we get the costumes and the candy, and quite frankly, the mischief a little bit too.
But it’s a very different story, and usually that’s not the sort of conversation you get into at the water cooler.
Purim and Halloween have surface similarities, both involve dressing up, giving out treats, and plenty of noise and laughter.
But why we do those things couldn’t be more different.
On Halloween, costumes came from wanting to either scare away or blend in with the spirit world.
On Purim, costumes are about reversals and revelation.
A reminder that G-d’s presence remains hidden in plain sight, and that courage can come from unexpected places.
Where Halloween embraces fear and trickery, Purim leans into joy, generosity, and justice.
The example that I feel like everyone gives is that on Halloween you’re walking around knocking on people’s doors and demanding they give you food or you’re gonna pull a prank on them. Whereas in Judaism, we are dressing up and then delivering gifts to both friends and the poor.
It’s a very different energy looked at from that perspective.
It’s about community care, not survival of the spookiest.
And maybe that’s the deeper takeaway. We don’t avoid Halloween just to be different.
We already have a framework for celebrating creativity and transformation. One that’s grounded in our own stories and values.
So with all these emotions and values in play, what do the different Jewish movements actually say about Halloween?
In what’s called the liberal community, which is all the movements other than orthodoxy, the guidance tends to focus on personal intent and community context.
Most rabbis view Halloween as a cultural holiday, not a religious one.
so participation becomes a matter of conscience and purpose.
What message are you sending, and what meaning are you bringing into it?
And families are encouraged to frame it through Jewish values: kindness and generosity.
Within orthodoxy… (which I will remind you is a huge world with many different positions. ” The Orthodox” is not a monolith.)
But in orthodox spaces, the majority of rabbis prohibit all Halloween practices because of its origins in Avodah Zara.
But everyday life isn’t exactly so black and white.
Practice can vary widely based on community norms.
And quite frankly, how big the Jewish community is. The smaller your community is, the more influence the secular community has on you, the more likely you are going to see more Halloween practices.
But don’t think it doesn’t exist in New York Orthodox communities too.
I don’t know how this has been traditionally, but in my experience in modern Orthodox communities, it’s about 50/50 whether people hand out candy.
It’s usually seen as being a good neighbor and integrating into the community. Being kind, hospitality, all those good things.
As I said at the beginning of this video, families who have children in non-Jewish schools face unique challenges.
I don’t know how much you’re hearing these children just like screaming bloody murder in the background. I don’t know what’s going on, but when you have time to film, you have time to film and so you take advantage of it.
So in those cases, you might see families where the kids are dressing up in costume on dress up days because they’re presented more as dress up days than Halloween days.
And there’s definitely a lot of people who love spooky movie nights.
You might see adults participating in things at work, like little bits of costume or full costumes.
And participating in the workplace is very similar to the ideas of why people hand out candy: fitting in, being kind, and hospitality.
But again, not marking the day in some sort of religious observance. The emphasis here is on intent and separation. Engaging politely and even in a friendly way with society while also maintaining a distinct Jewish identity.
And that is a hard line to walk.
So once you’ve heard all that, what do you actually do?
There is no one right answer, which I’m sure you figured out from the very beginning of this video. But there are a lot of ways to navigate this holiday with intention no matter how or how not you celebrate it.
Whether you’re keeping a strict boundary, wherever that is, or trying to find a middle path… the goal is the same: to live out your Jewish values with clarity and kindness.
So my first tip, embrace “fall season” and “spooky season” and “cozy season.” Lean into what’s universal and not religious. Pumpkins, apple cider, scary movies, ugly sweaters, corn mazes, cozy decor and mugs.
And much like the holiday of Sukkot that we just celebrated, you’re embracing the physicality of the changing of the seasons.
Sukkot is also a Harvest Festival, about fragility, and at its core, that’s a lot of what Halloween is about too. These are universal feelings across cultures in places that have four seasons.
So number two, practice Chesed and Shalom Bayit.
Handing out candy is a form of hospitality. Greeting your neighbors with warmth and respect.
If you’re abstaining and it’s safe to do so, remember to turn off your porch light during the hours when people are trick or treating, and that way participating children aren’t disappointed when your house is closed for business, and your dog doesn’t lose its mind from all the people knocking on your door.
Three. You can create new traditions, especially around that fall spooky cozy season.
Host a fall gathering: a soup night, baking, movie nights.
Something that celebrates community without being explicitly Halloween themed.
Consider making it a tradition to go to the corn maze every year. Getting a fresh batch of apple cider.
Three, plan ahead for Purim.
Start thinking about your costume ideas, and see if those costumes go on sale after Halloween is over.
I have found increasingly in recent years that Halloween costumes just never go on sale, especially for children, but maybe you’ll find something.
And four, find your own boundaries and stick to ’em.
Don’t let other people make you feel bad about them.
For some people, that means no participation at all.
If your community, rabbi, or inner compass says no, that’s fine.
And if you are in a more complicated environment, it’s okay to make pragmatic choices that keep peace and dignity.
And five, remember the big picture. You don’t have to do everything or avoid everything perfectly.
You just have to act with intention.
Jewish life isn’t about being afraid of the world around us. It’s about moving through it consciously, anchored in our own story.
However, you handle Halloween, let it be a reflection of your values. Not your fears.
And whatever you decide this Halloween, it’s not forever. You can always change your mind next year.
At this point, you’ve probably realized that you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. No matter what you do, someone’s probably going to have an opinion. So here are a few scripts to keep in your back pocket. If you’re celebrating and someone disapproves, you could say, “I appreciate the concern. We talked to our rabbi and we made a choice that aligns with our family’s values.” Or if you wanna keep it lighter. ” We are not making it a religious thing, just handing out candy and being friendly neighbors.”
If you’re not celebrating and someone is pressuring you to join in, ” we’re Jewish so we don’t celebrate Halloween, but we love seeing everyone’s costumes. Have fun tonight!”
Or the quick textbook version: “No Halloween here. Jews have a similar holiday in the spring called Purim.”
And if someone really presses the issue: ” It’s one of those things where people make different choices. This is what feels right for us this year.”
Because at the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone a theological dissertation.
So yeah, unfortunately, there is no single Jewish answer to Halloween. Just your next intentional step this year.
Whether you’re handing out candy, keeping the lights off, sending in a note to the teacher asking them to not include your children in Halloween activities, or planning your Purim costume early… the heart of this question has nothing to do with October 31st.
It is how we live as Jews in a world that doesn’t always share our rhythm.
Judaism gives us tools for moments like this. It’s about kavana (intention) and remembering that imperfect, messy, and real are still holy.
And if you’re trying to figure out how to navigate these gray areas with confidence, you can join my mailing list at Building a Jewish Life.com.
I’ve got tools and resources to help you make Jewish decisions with clarity and calm.
And don’t forget, look for those Purim supplies on discount after Halloween!
