Building Your Jewish Life 3-Month Coaching Program

Private coaching for people who are ready to turn good intentions into a Jewish life they can actually live.

You do not need more scattered information, another list of things you “should” be doing, or a perfect plan before you begin.

You need clarity about what matters most right now, a realistic plan for your actual life, and support as you put it into practice. It’s for anyone building a Jewish life from scratch – whether you are converting, newly Jewish, returning, or reconnecting.

Together, we’ll turn all the things you have been trying to piece together into a Jewish life that feels sustainable, meaningful, and yours.

We start with a 90-minute Jewish Life Audit and a written roadmap made just for you. Then we work through it together, one week at a time.

Not sure it’s for you? Book a free call and we’ll figure it out together.

Where will you be in 3 months?

Imagine three months from now.

You know what you’re doing for Shabbat – not the ideal version, the real one that works with your job, your body, and your family. The next holiday isn’t an ambush. You walk into your next rabbi meeting with your questions written down. And when two people give you opposite advice, you don’t spiral. You know how to decide.

That’s what we build together.

You don’t have to have it together before we start.

Most people think they need a few things sorted before they’re allowed to ask for help. You don’t need:

• To know enough first
• A rabbi who answers your emails
• A local Jewish community
• Perfect Hebrew (or any Hebrew)
• A brain that does routines easily
• Hours of free time every week
• A supportive family or partner
• To be sure you’re “ready”

It’s okay to start right where you are. Stuck is the starting point, not something you have to fix first.

Here’s why this works when the videos and books haven’t: general advice is built for general situations. Your situation has a specific rabbi, a specific family, a specific schedule, and a specific body and brain. We build around those – not around an “ideal Jewish person” who doesn’t exist.

And our weekly calls are 30 minutes on purpose. I’ve found longer calls just create longer to-do lists. Thirty minutes is enough to decide your next step and strategize how to implement it.

What’s included?

One plan. One step at a time. Someone in your corner the whole way.

1. The Jewish Life Audit (90 minutes). We go through every area of your Jewish life – Shabbat, holidays, kashrut, prayer, Hebrew, learning, your relationship with G-d, your rabbi, community, family, and work. What you’re doing now, what you’re not, and what you want.
2. Your written Jewish Life Roadmap. After the Audit, you get a personal report. Every area goes into one of three buckets: Active (doing it now), Queued (next in line), or Parked (deliberately set aside – not forgotten, not a failure). At the top: your clear next three things.
3. Weekly 30-minute strategy sessions. Every week, we check in on what’s working, fix what isn’t, and pick the next step. Rabbi meeting coming up? We prep your questions. Family dinner you’re dreading? We write your script. Holiday in three weeks? We plan it now. Sessions can be recorded if you like.
4. Email me anytime between sessions. Something comes up on a Tuesday – a weird comment at shul, a rabbi email you don’t know how to read, a “is this normal or a red flag?” moment. You don’t have to wait until our next call.

Your Roadmap is a living document. As things move from Queued to Active, we update it together, so at the end of three months you can see exactly how far you’ve come.

Still have questions? Book a free call to discuss them.

Hi, I’m Kochava

If you’ve ever closed 14 browser tabs of contradictory advice and still had no idea what to do this Shabbat, you’re in the right place. I know what it is like to begin without the childhood memories, family shorthand, and unspoken knowledge that many Jews take for granted.

I converted twice – Conservative, then Orthodox. I took breaks. I walked away and came back. I’m neurodivergent, I’m disabled by Long COVID, and I stayed with an abusive rabbi far longer than I should have, because I assumed that I was the problem. I needed to try harder, do better. I even blamed myself when another bullying rabbi sexually harassed me. But it was the system that was broken.

Here’s the thing: none of that was a failure of effort. It was what happens when you try to figure out a system that doesn’t explain its own rules. And “the system” is actually built from 42 different systems with different standards depending on who you’re working with and the community you’re in.

So I started writing down the rules. Building a Jewish Life has been around since 2010 (for 15 years, its name was You’re Not Crazy – does that feeling feel familiar?). My conversion test, pulled together from real beit din exams, has hundreds of questions, and candidates pass it to each other constantly (some rabbis even hand it out).

And I began helping people, even before my own conversion was finished. For 15 years, I did this as a volunteer with my spare time. Now I’m able to help a lot more people by making this my full-time job. I have seen how easy it is to get overwhelmed by conflicting advice, pressure yourself to do everything at once, or assume you are failing because your Jewish life does not look like someone else’s.

My approach is practical, compassionate, and honest even when it means airing the dirty laundry. We will take your Jewish life seriously without pretending you have unlimited time, money, energy, access, or certainty.

I am not a rabbi, and this program is not a substitute for rabbinic guidance, therapy, or other professional support. I will help you get clear about your goals, recognize what questions to ask, and build a plan you can actually carry out.

You do not need a perfect plan for the rest of your life. You just need a clear, supported way to take the next right step.

What changes in 3 months

Less guessing. Less panic-buying. More actually living it. Time saved not following every rabbit hole.

I can’t promise a beit din will say yes, or that your rabbi will answer faster. Nobody honest can. Here’s what we can build:

• A clear next three things. You always know what you’re working on, what’s next, and what you’re deliberately not doing yet.
• A Jewish practice you can name. You can say what you do for Shabbat and what your plan is for the next holiday. Not theory – your actual practice.
• A routine that survives bad weeks. Your practice doesn’t collapse every time life gets busy, hard, or overwhelming.
• Scripts for the hard conversations. Family questions, December, rabbi meetings. You stop freezing.
• A record of your Jewish life and learning. No more trying to remember “what have I actually done?” before a rabbi meeting or beit din.
• A way to tell normal discomfort from a real red flag – with rabbis and communities – without second-guessing yourself for days.
• Fewer spirals after shul. You stop replaying every conversation for six hours, wondering if you offended Judaism.
• Time and money back. No more books you don’t finish, ritual items you didn’t need, or months spent on the wrong path.

Neurodivergent or chronically ill? Your adaptations are part of the plan from day one, not bolted on after you burn out.

Price

$1,500 or 3 monthly payments of $550

If you have booked a 1:1 Clarity Call, you can apply the cost of that call to this coaching program if you join within 14 days of your consultation.

Is this a lot of money? For a lot of people, yes. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

Here’s the thing, though. Most people I talk to have already spent real money on this – the books they didn’t finish, the classes that were too general, the ritual items they panic-bought and never used. And the biggest cost isn’t money at all. It’s months (sometimes years) spent on the wrong path, with the wrong rabbi or community, or having to start over.

Over three months, this works out to about $115 – $125 a week. That’s less than most people pay for one specialist appointment. And it’s not general advice – it’s your next step, in your actual life.

This isn’t about buying another resource that sits unread in a folder on your computer.

It’s an investment in having a Jewish life that feels more intentional, sustainable, and possible to live.

Have questions first? Book a free call.

Not the right time financially? That’s okay. The Bayit Builders membership, my videos/blog posts, and my other free resources are here for you, and you can come back to coaching whenever you’re ready.

Refund Policy

You may cancel for a full refund at any time before your first scheduled session.

Once the program has begun, the three-payment option remains a commitment to the full $1,500 investment. It is a payment plan, not a cancel-anytime subscription.

If you have a concern about the program, please contact me so we can talk it through. If we both agree that continuing is not the right fit, you will receive a prorated refund for the remaining unused coaching sessions. The Jewish Life Audit is valued at $200. Any prorated refund will be calculated by first deducting the $200 value of the completed Audit, then refunding the unused portion of the remaining coaching package.

Who it’s for (and who it isn’t)

This is for you if:

• You’re building a Jewish life from scratch – converting, thinking about converting, coming back to Judaism, or starting a Jewish home for the first time
• You’ve read the books and watched the videos, and you still don’t know what to do next
• Your situation feels complicated: a difficult rabbi, no local community, an unsupportive family, a disability, chronic illness, or a brain that works differently
• You want a practice that fits your actual life, not a fantasy version of you
• You’re willing to try one small thing a week

This isn’t for you if:

• You want someone to guarantee you’ll be accepted by a beit din
• You’re looking for a rabbi or halachic rulings (I’m not a rabbi – I’ll help you work with yours, find one, or how to manage without one)
• You want a structured class with lessons and homework
• You want to change everything at once

Not sure which list you’re on? Book a free call and we’ll figure it out.

Frequently Asked Questions

You don’t need certainty to take the next step

Three months from now, you’ll be somewhere. You could still be in the same loop – more tabs, more books, more waiting until you feel ready.

Or you could have a roadmap, a practice you can name, and someone who knows your situation in your corner.

It’s okay to not have it all figured out. That’s what we’re here for.

Not sure yet? Book a free call to get your questions answered.