The first time you go to synagogue, you might expect everyone to sit quietly and pay attention to the service. And then you get there and… everyone is talking. Someone’s whispering to their neighbor, someone else is catching up with an old friend, and meanwhile you’re afraid to cough because you have no idea what
Why Is Everyone Talking in Synagogue?! Read Post »
Jewish law is pretty clear that a person who converts to Judaism is Jewish. Full stop. The Torah also repeatedly commands us to love and protect converts. But Jewish law and the experience of actually being a convert in a Jewish community aren’t always exactly the same thing. Converts can find themselves in a strange
Are Converts Really Treated the Same as Born Jews? Read Post »
If you’ve ever walked away from a perfectly normal Jewish conversation feeling like you somehow failed a test… you are definitely not alone. For converts and people newer to Jewish life, “Jewish Geography” can feel less like friendly small talk and more like an interrogation you didn’t study for. Questions about where you’re from, what
Why Jewish Geography Feels Like an Interrogation Read Post »
There’s a quiet sting to sitting alone on Friday night while everyone else seems to have somewhere to go. If you’re new and you’re not getting Shabbat meal invites, it’s probably not personal. You’re still in the phase where people are figuring out who you are. That doesn’t mean you’re unwanted. It means you’re not
How to Get Invited to Shabbat Meals Read Post »
Finding out you have Jewish DNA or Jewish ancestry can feel like the ground just shifted under your feet. For some people, it brings excitement. For others, grief. For others, anger about secrets kept or stories lost. And for many, it brings a quiet but urgent question: What does this mean for me? The truth
Just Learned You Have Jewish Ancestry? Start Here Read Post »
If Jewish learning feels overwhelming, scattered, or like everything is urgent all at once, you’re not alone – and you’re not doing anything wrong. Most people don’t struggle with Jewish study because they lack motivation or discipline. They struggle because no one ever explained how Jewish learning is structured, how different areas fit together, or
How to Study Judaism Without Burning Yourself Out Read Post »
Most Jewish converts don’t get “outed” by a rude question. They get outed by ordinary conversation. If you’ve ever found yourself frozen mid–small talk, suddenly aware that the next question will push you into sharing something private you didn’t plan to explain, you already know how this happens. Jewish geography – the well-meaning, mildly competitive
The Social Game Every Jewish Convert Eventually Loses Read Post »
So you’ve been reading books, scrolling social media, reading this blog…and you think you’re ready to go to a synagogue service for the first time. The mechanics and the level of “oh no what have I gotten myself into I am not ready for this” will be different between orthodox and non-orthodox services only because
What to Expect the 1st Time You Attend Synagogue Read Post »
I have a big rallying point that I try to drive home in the born-Jewish community: Conversion candidates are the canaries in the mine of Judaism. If you don’t know the analogy, here’s what Wikipedia has to say: “Canaries were once regularly used in coal mining as an early warning system. Toxic gases such as carbon monoxide, methane
Judge Favorably, But Don’t Ignore Red Flags Read Post »
Gemachs usually enter the average convert’s mind when they have an upcoming marriage. Whether bride or groom, you will get an earful about gemachs. The word gemach is an acronym for “gemilut chasadim,” acts of kindness. The traditional gemach fund is a free-loan organization. But we don’t refer to those as “gemachs” anymore (or at least
Word of the Day: Gemach Read Post »