If you’re new to observing Jewish holidays, asking for time off from work or school can feel surprisingly intimidating. What days do you actually need off? How far in advance should you ask? How much do you need to explain about your religious practice – and what happens if your boss or professor pushes back?
In this video, I’ll walk you through how to make the request clearly and confidently, including what to say, what your employer actually needs to know, and how to handle some of the awkward questions that can come up. Because learning about Rosh Hashanah is one thing. Figuring out how to actually observe it in your real life is another.
Want help building a Jewish life that works in your actual life?
That’s exactly what we do inside Bayit Builders. You’ll find practical resources, accountability, community, and support for turning everything you’re learning about Judaism into a Jewish life you can actually live.
Bayit Builders is open to new members August 27 – September 3.
Transcript below.
Transcript:
So you’ve just decided that you need to take Rosh Hashanah off of work, and maybe Yom Kippur too.
And oh, maybe you’re looking at the Jewish calendar and thinking that maybe you wanna take a few more days off for other holidays.
Now you have to tell your boss or your professor. If you’re new to observing Jewish holidays, or you’ve just never asked for religious time off before, this conversation can feel way more intimidating than it needs to be.
Here’s when to ask, what to say, how much you actually need to explain, and what to do if your boss or professor pushes back.
Hi, I’m Kochava. I’m a Jewish convert, and I’ve been helping people convert to Judaism since 2010 through my blog, buildingajewishlife.com.
And right now, my membership is about to open up to new members again. It only opens up three times a year because I am one person.
If you’re converting or converted or just building a Jewish life from scratch, that’s exactly what my membership is made for. It gives you the support to build a real Jewish life with your actual life, not the ideal life you wish you had.
You can find out more details down at the link in the description below.
So first rule, decide what you actually need. You don’t just walk up to your boss and say, “I need the Jewish holidays off.”
Pull up the calendar and work it out. For each holiday, when does it begin? When does it end? Remembering that Jewish days start the evening before.
So for instance, this is 2026. You’re gonna see on a calendar that Rosh Hashanah is on September 12th, but it actually starts the evening of September 11th.
So next, looking at those days that have the holidays, which days do you actually want or need off? Not all of you are fully observant and going to go off the grid for the holidays. It’s okay to take part of the holiday off.
And before the holiday begins, do you need to leave early in order to be on time to synagogue services or other observances you wanna do on the night the holiday begins?
What does your own practice or community or rabbi ask of you? This allows you to make a specific, clear request rather than overwhelming your boss with just saying, “The Jewish holidays are coming.”
Your boss sees that Rosh Hashanah is on September 12th, and is going to be confused why you need the evening of September 11th off. But don’t worry, we’re gonna get into that down below.
As for timing, ask as early as you possibly can. I know where I live here in New York, schools are getting back into session right now, and so you may be giving two weeks notice for the High Holidays this year. That’s okay. Two weeks is not bad, but ideally, you wanna ask as soon as possible.
What’s best? Two months before, because then you get ahead of other people asking for that time off for whatever their vacation days are.
You wanna ask as soon as you can, but not any earlier than two months ahead of time. I think that’s probably overkill in most professions. If your profession is different, please go with what is normal in your profession.
You want to avoid asking the day before, because it puts your boss and your coworkers in a bind. Shifts need coverage or deadlines need to be moved. Other people will end up covering for you. And without much notice. And no one likes that.
You wanna be a good coworker, and like it or not, you are always representing the Jewish people when you do Jewish things in public.
There is a concept called a Chilul HaShem, a desecration of God’s name, and unfortunately, when Jews do things that make people mad, they apply it to the entire Jewish people. Do your best to avoid that, but also realize you can’t control who gets mad about what, and maybe you’re just finding this the day before Rosh Hashanah.
Work with what you got. You can always do better the next holiday around.
Three, you do not need to give them your Jewish autobiography. You don’t need to justify yourself or your Jewish practice to anyone.
Just because you didn’t take off Jewish holidays before doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to take them off now.
People change. Observances change.
And if you’re in the United States, you probably have legal protections for asking off for religious holidays. That’s also true in many other countries, but I can’t speak specifically to those.
You’re gonna be tempted to over-explain and word vomit all over this person, especially if you feel a little defensive, like maybe you’re not observing in the way you would like to observe.
That is when we are often most triggered to word vomit to justify ourselves, because we’re really justifying ourselves to ourselves.
So you don’t need to tell them this. They just need the bare minimum details. What time do you need? And if they ask, why?
So you could say, for instance, “I’m gonna be attending a synagogue service,” or, “I’m observing the holiday in a Jewish manner and I won’t be driving or using electricity during that time,” if you were doing a more orthodox observance.
You don’t need to get into an explanation of Jewish law, halacha, unless you want to, and it’s a positive conversation and they’re just curious and you feel like educating them.
And ironically, in my own experience at least, these conversations go better the less Jews there are where you live. The less contact people have with Jews, the more likely they’re to be like, “Wow, that’s really cool. Tell me more.”
It’s when you live in a place where everyone knows Jews that they’re gonna be like, “Joe Schmoe over there doesn’t need the holiday off. Why do you need the holiday off?” That’s annoying.
You can’t control what Joe Schmoe does, but you can just say, “Joe Schmoe isn’t observing the holiday,” uh, for whatever their reason is. “But I am observing the holiday.”
Exact language you can use for putting in this request, which I do recommend putting in writing. Come on, I’m a lawyer.
I would say this, “I observe Rosh Hashanah and will need to be away from work from date through date, or on date.” You really don’t need to say anything more than that.
And what’s presumed is that you will have a good faith effort to help them cover your shift or make sure any responsibilities that you have are taken care of during that time.
And if you’re in school, the idea that you will make up any coursework that you missed or any tests that you miss. It’s possible they may have a formal process for requesting off religious accommodation.
In that case, just ask them what you need to submit.
You do not need to convince this person that your observance is legitimate. They should assume that your observance is legitimate. It’s not for them to be busybodies inquiring into your religious practice.
And going back to what we said before about needing to sometimes explain some parts of Jewish holidays, there’s a lot about Jewish holidays that your boss may not understand.
We’ve already mentioned the fact that holidays actually start the evening before, but also the idea that many holidays are more than one day, and that the dates change every year on the secular calendar.
And you would think that it is common sense, but they may not know that different Jews observe holidays differently.
They also may not know how many Jewish holidays that there are. The average Christian basically has Christmas and Easter, whereas Judaism has a holiday almost every month.
Explain only what is relevant to your request today.
So for instance, you could say, “The holiday begins at sunset on Monday, so I’ll need to leave by 4:30 in order to get home in time for the holiday.”
Five, you’re gonna make a lot more friends if you bring solutions. This may not actually be your responsibility to help them cover for you, but it’s a good practice.
Like we talked about, uh, Chilul HaShem earlier, this creates a Kiddush HaShem, a sanctification of G-d’s name, something that makes the Jewish people look good.
You can volunteer to inform your client that you’ll be unavailable during this day. You could contact a coworker about swapping shifts. You could put in some extra hours to finish a project before the holiday starts. This is gonna be really specific to your specific job or class.
But don’t martyr yourself. You have the right to have time off work for religious observance. You don’t need to fall all over yourself apologizing for it.
You can be considerate about this request without acting like it’s an unreasonable request in the first place.
What if you’re converting and not actually Jewish yet? It’s still okay and still your right to ask for religious holidays off.
You don’t have to get into the details of converting with them unless you want to.
It is possible that they may request a letter from your rabbi, which should be a very easy request to have filled. That happened to me with rescheduling an exam that was scheduled on Saturdays. I had to get a letter from my rabbi saying that I was observant of Shabbat, and therefore wouldn’t be able to take a test on that day.
So what if your employer pushes back? This stops being just an awkward conversation and becomes a religious accommodations issue. In the United States, federal employment laws provide protections for religious accommodations, but exactly what your employer is required to do depends on the circumstances.
So don’t take advice from a YouTube video, including mine. Here’s a few potential next steps. First, don’t lose your cool. Don’t start screaming about it. Take it calmly and coolly, and give yourself time to regroup and make a plan.
You should ask why the request is being denied. If they have a copy of the policy, you should ask for a copy of that.
If you have a human resources department, talk to them. Again, make sure your request is in writing, and try to get them to give you that reason for the denial in writing, too. Keep records of all their responses. And if necessary, you can seek out actual legal guidance or look at the EEOC guidance, the Equal Employment Opportunity Council, I believe, is what that stands for, the EEOC.
This is all the kind of advice that no one gives you when you’re building a Jewish life.
It’s not just learning what Rosh Hashanah means. It means how do you actually make that happen in your life? And that means awkward conversations with bosses and professors. It’s figuring out when you need off work. It’s figuring out what you’re gonna eat, where you’re gonna eat it.
And that’s exactly the kind of practical stuff we work together with in my membership, Bayit Builders, and it’s about to be open to new members.
Click down at the link in the description below for more information. That way you can join us before the High Holidays this year.
And if you’ve never celebrated Rosh Hashanah before but you’re curious now, check out this video.
